Sand Dunes and Six Guns

I wrote this article about a year ago and it’s been sitting in the bin for a good long while. It’s been in the bin for so long, in fact, that I don’t think this article even mentions Space Marine 2, Our Golden Age (OGA, the new UVG), or Dungeons & Dragons 6th Edition. I feel like there has been some major gaming news and I don’t talk about it here. I’ve gone through and removed much of the content relating to me complaining about not finishing the article, which apparently is how I start all my writing projects, but I’ve kept a lot of the mechanics analysis and game indexing.

In a past article, I had a paragraph about tracking ammo for a six shooter. I was talking to a friend and I realized that the mechanic actually has more meat on the bones than I realized. But, in typical Caravaneer fashion, I have to take a running leap into the topic. 

The Coolest Game I’ve Never Played

In 2008, a company called Fantasy Flight Games got the license from the suddenly defunct Black Industries to develop a role playing game in the Warhammer 40k world called Dark Heresy. From 2008 to 2017, Fantasy Flight created a number of different settings and systems for the game and expanded the scope from investigators in the Inquisition to everything from space-faring merchant-marine Rogue Traders to Chaos-worshiping warlords. The core mechanic was a percentile system with advancements adding or subtracting multiples of ten to the role, and a combat mechanic called Righteous Fury that allowed you to continue to reroll tens on damage dice. In 2010, they released Deathwatch.

As an aside, sometime in 2012, your humble author presumably ran afoul of some kind of pagan practitioner of dark and obscene magicks and every time I touched the Dark Heresy core rulebook ill fortune and disaster befell the group I intended to run it for. I can skim the PDFs alright, but if I even begin to imagine that I could run a session of DH, people get fired from jobs, lose longtime girlfriends, get into car wrecks. One guy’s apartment caught on fire right before a game started. As one friend who was supposed to play in a DH session told me after I came to jump his car after it died before a potential game of DH, “I’m not superstitious, but [the Curse] scares me.”

Deathwatch was designed from the start to be a combat slog; players played Space Marines who were optimized both lore-wise and mechanically to be excellent at shooting and stabbing the enemies of mankind. Sessions were divided into explicit “missions” with tactical goals for players to complete. At the start of each mission, one player would be chosen as the team leader, who was responsible for a mechanic known as “cohesion.” Cohesion points could be spent to move players from “solo mode,” where they had abilities based on their chapter and specialization, to “squad mode,” where the leader could announce an action (sometimes a special action that other players could normally perform) and the other players could opt into performing that action in addition to their own turns. 

From the Deathwatch Core Rulebook, page 213-214.

For example, let’s say there was a stealth mission where the squad had to sneak into an enemy bunker and plant demo charges. The players talk among themselves and decide to let the Raven Guard player, the Space Marine chapter who specializes in stealth, be the squad leader for this mission. The Raven Guard player doesn’t have the greatest Fellowship Bonus (the charisma analog in Fantasy Flight Warhammer games and the attribute that determines cohesion), but does have access to a special squad mode that helps with stealth. During the mission, the Raven Guard player spends cohesion to activate his squad mode ability, everyone chooses to take the action, everyone passes, and the group is able to sneak into the bunker and plant the charges. This system actually fed well into another system in Deathwatch called Cohesion, which represented how well the different characters worked together in the squad, with low Cohesion meaning everyone wants to use their special thing to do the mission, a way to foster “role” playing in a very “roll” play heavy game.

The Fantasy Flight system would go through some major changes over the years, and in 2014 they would begin work on the second edition. Fantasy Flight made the decision to organize their game development somewhat like video game development: they released a “beta” of the rules and allowed members of their forum to make comments and suggestions to improve it. However, the first beta release was such a departure from the old rules that players felt that the old content they were used to would be invalidated in the new direction Fantasy Flight was going and proceeded to complain loudly in beta feedback and forum posts. Ultimately, Fantasy Flight appeased the fans and made the decision to remove much of the new (and arguably needed) content and returned to many of the old system rules. Fantasy Flight would lose the rights to Warhammer after a handful of releases for 2nd Edition and Games Workshop transferred their roleplaying rights to Cubicle 7 Games. Their Dark Heresy successor, Imperium Malidictum, released in 2022. It’s got some interesting elements such as the benefactor mechanic, but serves as a return to the halcyon days of old.

Okay, keep this in mind, we’re going to jackknife ourselves into a ditch. 

High Speed, Low Drag, Go Fast, Kick Ass

In 2016, a game called Titanfall 2 came out. I didn’t play it then, but I picked it up on sale sometime in the last few years. It’s gained a bit of a cult following in that time, and I can say it’s completely deserved. The boots-on-the-ground pilot combat is fast and encourages zipping around the map at incredibly high speeds and the mech combat slows things down in exchange for heavy fire power. I feel safe in saying that a lot of games that came out since then took inspiration for the fast run and gun gameplay. And as with every video game I’ve ever played, I started trying to see how I could bring it to the tabletop. 

Obviously, a first person shooter and a tabletop game are incompatible, primarily because the skill sets are so different. An FPS is all about reaction time, clicking on a spot on a screen as soon as it appears. Regardless of how fast-paced and frantic a game at the table might get, it never reaches a point where a player’s reflexes are at play. An argument could be made that you could incorporate a ten second hourglass timer to encourage players to make quick decisions (especially during combat and especially if you’re having problems with players focusing on combat when it’s not their turn), but this seems like punishing players for not playing the game your way, and also 5th Edition combat usually sucks. There’s a difference between making a snap decision in a tabletop combat and extreme eye-hand coordination. 

The work around I could see was something like this: characters have a momentum meter, from one to six. One means you’re standing still, two means you’re moving tactically (checking corners, opening doors slowly), five means you’re at a full sprint, and six means you’re wall running and jumping around all parkour. To build up your momentum, you have to move your max speed, which for D&D 5E usually meant 30 feet a round, or six spaces on a typical “five feet a square” map. If you chose to build up momentum, your minimum speed was increased and you both unlocked and locked different kinds of actions. For example, to perform the “Aiming” action to decrease the difficulty of an attack roll was locked to Speed 1 or 2; you had to be standing still or moving slowly to aim down the sights. The action “Action Kick,” to launch a melee attack where to kick someone at full speed, in contrast, was locked to Speed 4 or above. How fast you were moving determined what kinds of actions you could take, and more importantly, what actions you couldn’t. 

Ultimately, the logic was this: moving fast meant you could deal more damage, but you also took more damage, along with the danger of having to move to a place you might not want to move. Moving slower locked you out of more damaging actions, but also prevented you from taking too much damage: going to ground and ducking behind cover were slow and safe actions. Of course, there’s one serious limitation to this kind of system: you have to spend a lot of time on level design. If the players are going to make meaningful choices around speed and momentum, you can’t just put them in 30×30 square dungeon rooms. As Patrick Stewart says in Silent Titans: “Remember: in times of immediate danger, every spatial decision is also a moral decision.” You have to make urban environments with plenty of walls to run on and buildings to climb, or at least long, linear, and potentially circular levels. Games like Lancer encourage this kind of level design with the wide amount of enemy types and abilities to synergise (and I expect Icon will do it even more once it releases).

As I’m writing this, I realize there’s another issue, one that I’ve been running into as my UVG game drew to a close (something you can read about that here). The players chose to optimize speed over carrying capacity, which meant they were fast, but they had to be meticulous when tracking how many rations they have because if they made a mistake and lost a car, they were dead. This meant that some obstacles were more challenging than others. A river that was risky to drive across or switchbacks down a canyon were more threatening to them than a giant monster redwood tree or a horde of cyber-ghouls because they could just drive away from any encounter that didn’t trap them there. Likewise, if you’re running a system for players whose mechanically important choices include the ability to fuck off at mach five, how do you keep them from just saying, “Oh, guy is shooting at me? I leave.” For UVG, I have a solution below, but for “Momentum the Game,” I’d have to go back and think on it more. 

There’s two games I want to call out here. The first is that for all this thinking about momentum I never really had a system put in place and polished enough to bring to the table. Imagine my surprise when a game I kickstarted, the Survivalist’s Guide to Spelunking, had a complete momentum system included in their Underdark adventure game, along with incorporating it with initiative and even segmented spellcasting, like the old days. If you’re reading the last few paragraphs and thinking “man, that sounds cool,” picking up a copy of Spelunking might be the way to go. The other game is called VeloCITY, a /tg/ homebrew system that was “designed to replicate the feel and freedom of running around an urban playground and going anywhere.” (Usually homebrew out of /tg/ is more hit than miss considering its role as an unofficial alternative to the Forge, especially in the early days. Games like Engine Heart and Los Magos Del Tiempo most definitely deserve a mention.) It uses a dice pool mechanic, but I haven’t dived into it deeply enough to talk substantially on it. However, I’d be worried that it slips into the “Pokémon Problem” of tabletop game design. 

From the Survivalist’s Guide to Spelunking, pages 54-55.

A Quick Aside: The “Pokémon Problem”

I’m not going to spend a crazy amount of time on this, but I just want to quickly touch on what I see as a common problem in amateur tabletop game design circles. I first noticed it as I was collecting and indexing homebrew systems, most evidently in people who wanted to create a Pokémon tabletop game. For people who have been living under a rock for the last thirty years, Pokémon is a video game where you capture and train creatures called Pokémon and force them to fight in battles so you can be recognized as the top dogfighter in the nation. This premise has not changed in three decades, which has let Game Freak skate on a codebase that hasn’t been updated since the early 2000s. 

It’s a fun video game, but what happens is that aspiring game designers who love it decide they want to make it into a tabletop game. So they sit down and they begin making the game that everyone on earth plays first: Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition. They write about ability scores and strength checks and how to use charisma and how to fight in combat. They put in all this work, and they forget one tiny thing… they’re supposed to be making a Pokémon game! Where do the Pokémon come into it!? How does my trainer catch Pokémon? Or train them? How does battling work when the game is being run by something other than a computer? Can I do other things than battle, and if so, what are the mechanics!? One generation allowed you to put on dog shows for your Pokémon, what would the rules be for that? Another allows you to cook food for your Pokémon at a campsite, what are the rules for that? What’s the core mechanic? What’s the gameplay loop? How should a DM run a Pokemon game? Hell, from a worldbuilding perspective, what about the world changes because there are Pokémon to do all the labor, and how does that change the rules of the system? All of these questions are put by the wayside as the game designer marches on to make a shittier D&D. 

When you’re inspired by something and want to bring it to the tabletop, dissecting and deconstructing what about it is so fascinating is important. Is it something you can bring to the tabletop another way? 

Bullettime Mechanics

Okay, that’s a lot of words, where are we driving to? Like I mentioned in a previous post, one of the places I want to start taking the Long Rim in is towards a western vibe. I had a throwaway comment about how “at the beginning of combat, everyone places a d6 in front of them, on 6. As they make attacks, they advance the die down until they reach 1. After they reach 1, the next attack they make is their last until they spend a round to reload. At any point in the combat, they can spend a turn to reload and put the die back at 6.” It was a simple way of tracking the all important ammo counter that six guns would use. And as I mentioned, it wasn’t a particularly original mechanic: I found it used in a Dark Tower inspired indie game called We Deal in Lead. In it, you can also use Special Attacks “unique to each gun type” like “Fan the Hammer” for six guns. I was actually first inspired by the talents system in the more mechanically antiquated Western RPG Aces & Eights

But as I was thinking about it I had an idea of melding all of these systems together. One of the common complaints surrounding D&D5E combat is that it’s hard for players to help one another, even outside of combat. Each roll is a spotlight for a single member of the party, and a player who wants to “help” gets a help action and not much else. Likewise, there are no “fastball specials” in 5E. 

Everyone is a cowboy, right? Six shooters and sand dunes. When you get into the inevitable gunfight, you have more connection with the people who have the same amount of bullets in the cylinder. When you shoot a single shot, everyone who’s aiming down the sights like you gets a chance to shoot. If you’re fanning the hammer, you can all fan the hammer together. Gunfights are hectic messes, and as you play out the combat the initiative of who goes before who goes out the window. Likewise, each attack adjusts the ammo counter differently, which means you can lock certain kinds of attacks behind the ammo counter. You can’t fan the hammer if you’re not at six, and you can’t make a single snapshot if you’re not at one. 

If you’re working as a team, you can all shoot in tandem, reload in tandem, all that good stuff. If you want to, however, you can break from the group to do something on your own or target a specific enemy, but that comes with the risk that the enemy might move before you or do something you don’t expect. The enemy, for his part, should always be thinking about how to disrupt the party: do they set a building on fire to see if you’ll split up? Do they try to ambush from all sides? Do they throw out a moral quandary that splits the group? Also, the less bullets in the cylinder, the more damage you take. 

“This isn’t very realistic,” I hear some of you say, just above the people who are murmuring that “if you take more damage the less bullets you have, what prevents us from shooting once and then reloading” and “why can’t we make a single snap shot with a full cylinder” and yes, I agree, its not “realistic,” but at this point this article has been sitting in the box and I’m tired and I want to be done. Reading back on it now (and realizing that it could better be incorporated into another Alternative Super-Lite OSR Mechanic), it’s fine, and a building out of a movement system to go along with how guns work would be a strong step into integrating a fully fleshed out idea. But now I actually want to think about another mechanic.

The Cattle Crawl

One of the things I want to do before I go is write up some rules for the Cattle Crawl, a cattle drive where players are able to make lots of money for moving cattle from one place to another. It’s a form of travel and exploration that forces the group to move at a slower pace. One of the things I’ve been struggling with, especially as my UVG game came to a close, was the ability for players to simply leave a situation. If they got ambushed by zombie bio-weapons, they would look at each other, shrug, and then slam the gas of their post-apocalypse dune buggies and skedaddle. If they’re trying to sell a hundred head of longhorn at the next market, their ability to simply leave a situation is lessened. It also might encourage them to actually have scouts or make an effort to know what the surrounding area looks like. 

Unlike the early editions of Boot Hill, Aces & Eights from Kenzer & Company had an entire section devoted to the cattle drive. These old western (westerns that are old, not old west westerns) RPGs were always concerned in making sure that players had things to do, unlike more modern rules-lite additions to the genre like Frontier Scum or The Great Soul Train Robbery. Because of the hex-based nature of the game, players would need to scout ahead, and each hex would change the quality of the cattle herd, either increasing the quality of the beef or forcing the party to deal with dangers such as wolves, poisoned water, and cattle rustlers. While this approach works well for a hex-crawl style game, a point-crawl would need to be modified slightly, though not by much. 

From the Aces & Eights core rulebook, pages 226-227.

These are the procedures for both Aces & Eights and UVG. Instead of daily, you could easily modify the procedure to the weekly scale of UVG, and instead of hexes, you could allow people to scout an area abstracted for a week to improve water and grazing checks for the beef. It also solves the problem of speed skipping encounters in UVG: you can’t just drive away from your big payday, you have to solve the problem to proceed.

From the Ultraviolet Grasslands core rulebook, page 148.

A Western Index

I want to take a quick second and share some Western RPGs I’ve dug into during the research for this article. There are a lot of different games, many rules lite, but with enough time and dedication you could carve some interesting situations for your table out of them.

Boot Hill is the obvious progenitor of a lot of the genre. There were three editions, and a lot of articles in Dragon magizine included how to import and export characters from Boot Hill into the first and second editions of the Great Game. I’ve mentioned Aces & Eights, which is probably the best RPG to dig for content. Aces & Eights goes for a more traditional “alt-his” setting, with a still-around Confederacy, an independent Texas, a Mormon Deseret in Mexico, and explict Indian nations. (There was an old western setting called Wild Cards from the old 1d4chan archives that also does this, with the American Civil War being the first “world war” with mercenaries and military units from Europe and Latin America all fighting on the continent and becoming bandits when the war ends, a decimated Union and Confederacy that exist but have no power and a west that’s up for grabs. The setting is more about the Devil giving people magic guns in poker games that correspond to playing cards.)

I’m not going to talk about Deadlands.

Speaking of Mormons, go play Dogs in the Vineyard. While it might not be thematically western, the saga of being kids given guns and enforce doctrine of a theocratic state is way too much fun not to play. The escalation system is great, a lot of the DM advice is stuff I still use to this day (“…You always can tell when you’re watching a movie who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. And wouldn’t you know it, most the time the players are looking at me with skeptical looks, and I give them a little sly nod that yep, she’s lying. And they get these great, mean, tooth-showing grins — because when someone lies to them, ho boy does it not work out…”), and there are enough hacks and tweaks other people have made to make the game run smoothly. It’s not a western in that it’s not about a world that is being left behind as much as it is about a world being born on the fringes, but you can’t get away from how awesome great coats and gunslingers are.

Black Powder Black Magic is a three part “zine of six-guns and sorcery” for use in DCC style games. There’s a 0-level funnel that takes place on a train taking you west that is great, and includes mechanics for DCC like Mighty Deeds of Arms like fanning the hammer and Patrons like secret Thor in America. It also has a list of trinkets that can inform players about their characters and the game world, which is nice. I feel like I wrote something about how tables like this (especially “I loot the body” tables where you’re listing what ordinary people have in their pockets) are a way of introducing worldbuilding and lore to players. There’s stuff to steal that’s easily modifiable, though it continues to fall into the same trap that a lot of western media falls into. There’s this thing where the western can’t be played straight, that you have to add zombies and ghouls to your sixguns and showdowns for anyone to engage with it. It’s one of the reasons I’m not going to talk about Deadlands.

Frontier Scum continues the Mork-Borgification of the hobby, though I appreciate anyone who’s seen both Dead Man and Little Big Man and considers them both to be weird westerns. The world is a mess, the end is near, pain and suffering rule, and did you know you don’t need rules if you blast enough doom metal at the table? These “people” (Porkburgers, I call them) forgot that smoking weed and listening to metal at the table is the sub activity and playing the game is the main activity. Or they’re latching on to an aesthetic they don’t actually participate in, but here I am indulging in the great metalhead past time of calling other people posers. The character generation for the game is fun, with goofy choices and crimes that make for interesting characters to inflict upon the world and enough tables to actually make something gamiable at the table. I’ve mentioned in the past the variant of the OSR “Shields Shall be Splintered” rule that if a character gets hit by an attack, they can choose to ignore the damage if they lose their hat, with a luck roll after the combat is over to see if the hat survived, which is amazing. However, it’s very unabashedly about it’s own thing, so your mileage may vary.

In the Light of a Setting Sun is a 3d6 roll under attribute system that has a couple of useful tables and interesting bits. The interesting mechanic is renown, where gunfights and duels can be modified by a gunfighter’s notoriety on a dice ladder a la the Usage die from the Black Hack. I remember reading someone saying that “rules light games are actually more advanced and difficult tabletop games, not easier” and I think that’s correct. What’s really interesting is the creator is also working on a hexcrawl called the Ghosts of the Sierra Verde, “heavily based on Wolves Upon the Coast by Luke Gearing.” It’s extremely barebones and needs art, literally just pencil sketches of gunfighters, but I think if there was a group of western RPG fans just writing up their own “states” and you could drop and play in Disco Elysium inspired fake history of our world, that would be amazing.

Arizona Goes to Hell continues the Darkbad approach to the western by emphasizing the evil deadness of the Western wasteland. Apparently it was originally written for the Hateful Place, which is a roll under, three attribute, rules lite system. This rewrite brings it more in line with OSR sensibilities and includes some interesting hex-crawl events you could modify for your game along with a couple of tables that might be useful. 

We Deal in Lead does the other typical western RPG thing games like to do with their setting: ask “Why didn’t Steven King just play the The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger straight? Is he stupid?” People read about knights with sixguns and the lord of Gilead and “forgot the face of their father” and were like “fucking bet.” One page RPG 21 Guns and highschooler’s notebook scribbling of band names Inevitable both build on the setting of “Dark Tower but not Dumb,” though I will admit they do miss the deeper point of King’s work by doing so. While Inevitable is a dice pool system and 21 Guns is… well, I can’t really describe what 21 Guns is (the Forge was hard on all of us), We Deal in Lead is three attribute, d20, and rules lite, with the interesting stuff buried under a lot of the usual rules these kinds of systems have. We Deal in Lead and Inevitable both have mechanics derived from “quests,” though I think Inevitable‘s are inspired from more Powered by the Apocalypse style games.

Song of the Sixgun is a much more traditional percentile game, taking inspiration more from spaghetti westerns than ghouls and goblins. It has a full six attributes with combat (fighting and shooting) being a determination between two of them. There are a couple pages of combat “moves” that might be worth taking for a homebrew combat system, and the book is full of art from old western comics that give it the pulpy feel it’s going for.

Arabian Horses, Samarkandland Camels

I was going to have a section of worldbuilding here, but I think I’ve covered some serious ground and I’m going to stop here. I still need to flesh out the Cattle Crawl mechanics, dive into some of these other western RPGs, maybe make a priority list of what’s unquie and what you can steal, add it to the worldbuilding pot I’ve been stirring for the last few articles, and baby, you got a stew going.

Maybe Like The Beach Episode of a Slice of Life Anime?

So I’ve had a couple of articles in the hopper for about a year, maybe about five thousand words over a couple of different essays in the last few months. Most of my writing has been focused on my academics recently; researching and writing about religious liberalism and the Protestant Mainline in the post-war world is my primary focus, though I’ll likely drill into a particular time and place before it’s all said and done. I’ve enjoyed it immensely but I always want to return to writing for the blog. Blog writing is much more low stakes, especially blog writing about elf games that isn’t read by anyone, and it lets you get the bad habits out while trying new things. In academic writing, you build up to a golden sentence, with each paragraph and sentence lining the way. For blog writing, you can attempt to make every sentence gold and if you fail, fuck it, again, who is even reading this? It’s like poetry: you get better at wielding words by using words, shuffling them around like a marked card in a magic trick. There’s also the additional tension of blog writing for me in that I still haven’t formed a group and rolled dice since I moved last year. How can I still have gaming thoughts if I’m not gaming?

As such, I want to start putting out smaller articles to get some of these words out into the open. I need to break the habit of writing a thousand words for an introduction and then never finishing the article. Some great game bloggers write like that (Angry GM being the first that comes to mind), but I’m a child of the OSR first: scrappy, DIY, make it work or die, run under fire… the Game Master as Bass Guitarist for the band to keep the groove going. A thousand words are good for your personal notes, but when it’s time to run at the table, you succeed or fail, and reading your players a novel isn’t successful.

So, if this blog was an anime, consider this a beach episode. I’m going to write, and then edit, and then post, and then I’m going to do it a couple more times until all these words are posted. I’m going to do it in WordPress as a way to prevent myself from spiraling off into tangents. And then I’m going to put “blog writing” on the project management board I use for all my other work and do this more constantly. And then I’m going to find a game group. Promise.

Stuck in the Wrong Room

So, before I get too far into it, I wanted to quickly say that I was on a podcast with some good friends, talking about RPGs, almost six months ago. You can listen to the episodes Girl Genius and Labestomy here. I say some naughty words, I think, and I pontificate about elf games with the best of them. Also, go buy Trackmarks: Dieselpunk Fantasy Adventure here and subscribe to the Wrong Room podcast here.

Stuck in Drama Hell

There’s drama in the Warhammer community again, with a lot of more right-leaning people abandoning ship for a game called Trench Crusade, only to find a bunch of left-leaning people already camped out. Culture War bullshit ensued.

You know, thinking back on my time as a tabletop gamer, it’s actually kind of sad. I was a huge Warhammer fan for such a long time, but I’ve really fallen out of love with the setting as I’ve gotten older. DCC artist Stefan Poag had an interview where he mentioned that usually at some point you fall out of love with superhero comics and you can never get back in. That’s happened to me with all the Marvel slop, but it’s kind of happened with Warhammer as well.

Like with so many franchises and mediums, there is this fatigue that so many commercial communities are suffering from nowadays that stems from the general cultural fatigue we’re all feeling at this point. Jacques Barzun introduces this idea in his book From Dawn to Decadence about how the loss people face in the modern world is that of “possibility.” “The forms of art as of life seem exhausted,” he writes, “the stages of development have been run through. Institutions function painfully. Repetition and frustration are the intolerable result. Boredom and fatigue are great historical forces.” Another author who talks about this is Byung-Chul Han in The Burnout Society: “The complaint of the depressive individual, ‘Nothing is possible,’ can only occur in a society that thinks, ‘Nothing is impossible.'”

“Oh God,” you’re thinking, “the academic is out of the cage! Someone get your gun!”

Well, I’m not really “out of love” with the setting. It’s more like what I love now is how I imagine the setting should be. As the official setting moves further and further from my internal picture of what Warhammer is really about, the less devoted I am to the official lore. There’s some cool stuff nowadays; I don’t hate the Leagues of Votann with a passion and actually think there’s some cool stuff there once you stop seeing them as Squats, and I’m glad the Horus Heresy is finally coming to an end considering it’s long overstayed its welcome. But those things aren’t what Warhammer really means to me. This is healthy, by the way. The point of “franchises” should be to inspire your own creativity, especially when you’re running games at the table. There is only one canon, and it is Christ’s. Everything else is negotiable.

So, to combat the drama, instead of bitching and moaning, I instead offer a small modicum of what I think Warhammer is about and the humble beginnings of a setting that might give fans a way out. I’m jumping to the end of the article here, but the takeaways are to just fucking make your own shit, stop consuming other’s work uncritically, and if you don’t like a community, make something so unapologetically you that everyone who would be interested can’t escape the magnetic pull of your own tastes.

Old Hammers, Rusted Nails

I was playing Darktide and they released a new cosmetic for Psyker and it caused me to have a (1) thought, something unusual when anyone is playing Darktide. (By the way, Darktide itself also had a whole bunch of drama when it was originally released. Maybe Warhammer and drama really are just inseparable?) And I had this image that was interesting enough for me to devote some time writing about it. But first, (here we go), I have to explain what I think Warhammer is about. I’m going to try and be brief.

I think there are two elements to answer what Warhammer is. The first is simple and springs from the ‘87 to ‘98 editions: heavy metal ascetics. Many gamers are now flocking to what is affectionately called “Oldhammer:” the old art, the old models, the old lore. There’s something “SOVL”-ful about the game from this era, and there are bits and pieces of art and lore that don’t neatly fit together like they do now. There were Space Marine half-elves and butt tattoos and weirdly named Inquisitors and everything felt a little more gonzo and goofy. It was grim and dark, but not so grim and dark that you couldn’t go “hell yeah, that’s metal.” To put it another way, it was not so grim and dark that you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. The Chaos Marines of the era fucking rock, with just enough long hair and helmet horns to make you want to headbang. There’s no long and tragic backstory; they’re the bad guys because they’re bad guys. You can hate them or love them, do what you want, I’m not a cop. There’s motion and character and color. God, is there color. And there’s something missing from the lore now because it takes itself so seriously. Much of this is likely nostalgia-bait, to be honest, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with a little nostalgia, like putting honey in your tea in the mornings.

The second element comes from the more serious lore of the ‘04 and ‘08 editions of the game. The Imperium of Man is a shitty place to live. It’s a fascist, authoritarian hellscape of a society that literally feeds people to a dead machine god on life support. It’s a bad place to live. But the tension and the horror of the setting isn’t that the Imperium is a shitty place to live (and it sure as hell isn’t saying that fascism and authoritarianism are cool and people should seek to recreate it in their everyday lives), it’s that the alternative is worse. The Chaos Marines get more Hellraiser-y because yeah, you live in a factory where the foreman gets to beat you to fight against the Forces of Darkness and if you fight back they scoop your brains and make you a servitor, but living in a factory is worse than if the Forces of Darkness win. It asks the question “What if you lived in a world where this shitty way to live was actually justified? What if this actually was better than the alternative? How would people react?” It’s not a deep question and it’s handled inelegantly at times, but it’s an interesting enough question to stop and think for a bit about. It’s kind of like reminding yourself that you would be just as shitty as you are now in the 1960s, or the 1930s, or whatever era in the past you imagine yourself to be in and that you should be better now.

I could throw a couple hundred words here about moralism in art, the loss of media literacy, and the rise of the New Puritans, but I’m trying to be brief. So let me just say that the first element was lost as the franchise needed more and more artists and creatives to maintain its market cap and the second was lost as people tried to tell new stories in the setting and to carve off the weird angles of old stories. It changed, and considering that the franchise of Warhammer has been around for almost forty years, it was bound to.

What If The Victorians Were Right?

Okay, so if those are the two elements of a Warhammer game, what’s a good idea for a new setting? Some quick inspirations. First, I recently watched VaatiVidya’s five-hour breakdown of the entire lore of Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon, my preferred way of receiving FromSoftware games. Spoilers, by the way, but apparently the energy resource MacGuffin that all the factions are fighting over, Coral, is made up of people who died in the inciting incident, the Fires of Ibis, and people can use enough of it to start hearing the voices of the people in the Coral and experience some kind of ascension… I guess? Just go watch the video, I’m sure the game is even more esoteric and weird. I couldn’t help but compare it to Neon Genesis Evangelion and the Human Instrumentality Project, where a secret organization is trying to force humanity to evolve under its control. SEELE in Evangelion and Overseer in Armored Core share a lot of similarities from what I can see. Another inspiration is from the World of Darkness game Vampire: The Masquerade. In OWoD, vampires struggled against their Beast, which was the primal urge to just say fuck it, fangs rule humans drool, and just start drinking everyone’s blood. The Beast was the dark part of you that lets you be as vindictive and petty and cruel and downright beastly to everyone around you. If vampires in the Old World of Darkness were worried that they lost their salvation, then the Beast is their sin holding them back from throwing themselves into the sun. And obviously, Warhammer itself, its Psykers, and that cosmetic from earlier.

So, here’s the pitch: what if everyone woke up and realized that some shadowy organization had completed their secret goal and now everyone had psychic powers? Sure, everyone could throw boulders with their minds and cast firebolt, but it goes much further than that. Everyone could feel everyone else’s strongest-felt and innermost thoughts and feelings, every errant thought and emotion. Everyone is up in everyone’s business, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Think Denise Mina’s run of Hellblazer (spoilers, obviously). Of course, there are a couple of decades of the ole ultra-violence before society manages to reunite together without everyone going insane. The shadowy old white dudes who started this mess are either dead or will never face the consequences of their actions, obviously. But society has to figure out a way to come back together, and that’s where the Victorians come in. Everyone decides that yeah, maybe being buttoned-up prudes who just constantly write about sex instead of talking to a woman might be the way to go. Kind of like the Vulcans from Star Trek, only instead of being super emotional because you’re naturally super emotional, you’re emotional because some kid down the street lost his dog and you both can toss around psychic might like the goddamn Phoenix Force. Of course, the horror and tension of the setting is that just because you’ve got a howitzer behind your eyes and an entire society on your shoulders telling you what you can and can’t do, you’re still a person. People still need to love and hate and be happy and scared and mad, all the things that make humans human. This Space Victorian society fukken blows, but it’s the best we got going for us, and tall poppies will be cut.

Ascetically, think heavy metal Pride and Prejudice with sci-fi spaceship and personal combat being even more buttoned up Master and Commander. Think of lots of black formfitting skinsuits with collars up to the ears and crazy-colored eyes. Also think of lots of Dune-style house politics, with different factions that emphasize different ways of looking at the Big Event, religiously or practically or whatever else. Personality is king, with people being hollowed out by those who are the most emotionally powerful but everyone has to pretend everyone is acting reasonably. Not logically. In my fake sci-fi future, everyone has disabused themselves of the illusion that you can act totally rationally. Good table manners keep you and the people around you sane.

Wrap It Up, Chuck

Well, this isn’t even like the beginnings of a setting, but I was less interested in offering something useable at the table and more interested in what I said earlier: when you get mad at something on the internet, especially something related to a commercial intellectual property, please stop. Steal the parts you like, preferably from a dozen different places, and mash them together until you can see yourself or what you want to see in the shapes. Clean it up, send it to an editor, and then sell the PDF for pay-what-you-want or $6.66, the only legitimate options for selling PDFs. But getting mad that people you disagree with are in a particular scene is dumb. As I said, if you don’t want to share something with people you don’t like, then make something so unapologetically you that everyone who would be interested in it can’t escape the fact that they have to like you first.

I set out to edit the thousands of words I’d already written, and ended up writing a couple thousand words I had not already written for a blog post. I’ve got to start getting better at this. I really want to talk about the stuff I’ve been writing for The Long Rim and Most Wicked Man in Texas, and I can’t do that unless I have a better turnaround on posts.

I guess this is just a taste of my own medicine. Hopefully you can’t read this without seeing the stuff I love in it. Make cool stuff.

Alternative Super-Lite OSR Mechanic

Here’s a new core dice mechanic, hot off the presses: when you need to determine success, you and the DM roll 3d6. If the numbers are closer together, you succeed, if the numbers are further away from each other, you fail. 

Imagine that your character is trying to pick a lock. The DM decides this is an easy skill check, so you need to roll within 6 steps of one another, meaning if he rolled a 6 and you rolled a 12, that’s still close enough for you to succeed. You and the DM roll 3d6. If you roll a 10 and the DM rolls a 12, you track the absolute difference, which is 2, smaller than the threshold for success, and you succeed. On the other hand, let’s say this was a particularly difficult lock, and the DM decides you need to roll distance 2. You and he roll, you roll a 20, and he rolls a 6, which is more than 2 away, so that’s a definite fail. 

I was listening to someone talk about Dave Arneson and his original game, both system and setting, and I remember that he and M.A.R. Barker shared similar philosophies when it came to player/DM arbitration. For them, if you and the DM disagreed, you roll a d6, and the one who rolled the highest gets their way, with a compromise on the fiction if you’re close.  

This system serves a couple of functions. First, because you’re more likely to roll the average on dice, there’s a lot more room for success, so it makes for a more relaxed, laid-back system. There’s a reason you move the bandit on a 7 when playing Catan, because on 2d6 the 7 is the most likely result. For 3d6, there’s something like a 66% chance you’ll roll between 8 and 13, which means there’s a greater chance you’ll succeed. Second, it’s relatively easy to determine if you succeed or fail with a quick glance of the dice. Most of the time, if you roll, see a couple of 3s, and glance over to the DM who has a 5 and 6, you know you don’t have to count it out and play can continue. However, when it’s not clear, there’s a sense where the game slows down a bit and tension builds: did I succeed? How close am I? And then the rush of success. Third, the rules mechanic can fit narratively into the setting of the game, as if you and the world are harmonizing for things to be accomplished. I can imagine a setting with lots of words like “resonance” and “synergy.” Also, rolling 3d6 means fun times on the 666, which is both the highest you can roll and also only showing up on a half-percent chance. I believe this is a more explicit mechanic in Infaernum, but even Mork Borg had that scripture table where you burn the book on 7:7.

Speaking of, I imagine that this would be a good, quick mechanic for a mashup game of Ryuutama/Mork Borg. It’s not a super in-depth mechanic, especially because I think adding D&D5E style attribute modifiers would make the system a lot more clunky with players having to look at their sheet to find their modifiers and then applying them to the roll, but the setting is all about traveling at the end of the world. Things aren’t as black metal and brutal as they are funeral doom metal and sad, like ending a long journey or sharing the last sunset with a group of friends. You succeed when the world aligns just right, but more and more you fail because you’re out of sync, out of alignment, out of touch, and the world you lived in is passing on and you need to as well. (Also ironic that Ryuutama, a Japanese iyashikei game about traveling, contains more rules than the blacker than black metal Mork Borg.)

If you wanted a bit more complexity, you could assign a theme to the high and low numbers. For example, if high numbers were civilization and order and low numbers were wilderness and chaos, the way a player solves a problem could be modified depending on where the numbers land on the scale. Imagine a player says “I want to open this door.” A success on a high number (“We both get 16,”) is order flavored (“You mechanically and orderly pick the lock,”) and a success on a low number (“We both get 3,”) is chaos flavored (“You light the door on fire,”). 

If you and the DM roll the same number, that’s likely some kind of critical success, being exactly in line with the universe, and if you roll the exact opposite (the player rolls 111 and the DM rolls 666), something really bad happens and you can’t talk anymore because you’re dead, Black Leaf. 

I’m sure this could use some more mechanical meat on the bones, but I thought it was neat enough to mock up. 

Ice Hell, or UVG Fan Hours

This article contains spoilers for a number of Luka Rejec games, in particular Longwinter and Witchburner.

This article’s been in the oven for so long I have no idea how good it is. It’s actually like three articles Frankenstien-ed into one big blog post. It’s rambling in only the way Caravan Crawl can provide. Enjoy!

I was shouted out for some games I’m designing and some beer I brewed for the Wrong Room podcast a while back, which is hosted by three real rad dudes. One of them writes tabletop stuff here, one of them DMs stuff here, and one of them just seems to be a real chill dude. If you haven’t, I recommend you listen to it. It’s the Cumtown of tabletop roleplaying podcasts. Well, “ostensibly a tabletop roleplaying podcast,” at least.

As mentioned in the podcast (exactly which episode I don’t remember, this article has been in the bin for months), I have an idea for a game combining all the works of Luka Rejec (specifically Witchburner and Longwinter), and just wanted to carve out some time to write up my thoughts on what I’m doing recently.

It also gives me a chance to discuss some of the tabletop drama floating around the scene with the OneD&D news (like I said, this article has been in the bin for months). A buddy of mine noticed with some skepticism that One D&D is being shortened to OD&D, potentially as a way to muscle in on the name Original Dungeons and Dragons, which is hallowed OSR ground. It’s like that THAC0 character in Wild Beyond the Witchlight all over again, calling all of us grognard clowns and mocking our scene! Not to mention how many changes in the rules are the result of Wizards of the Coast attempting to create a system that’s easy for use in their virtual tabletop and hard for DMs to make subsystems on the fly while at the same time retaining enough similiarity to old content for them to sue anyone who attempts to take a shot at the king. Anyway, before I can talk about what I’m working on, I’ve got to talk about scene. 

And… Scene!

Like most of my articles, I have to make a running start at it, and the place I want to start is the scene. (I fully recognize this is like starting a pole vault from outside the stadium.) I am a old school player at heart, looking at the new ways D&D is innovating itself in mild frustration. I was having a beer with a former coworker and I mentioned that in some of the systems I’ve run there was no distinction between “race” or “class,” that in the games I usually run “race is class.” He told me he couldn’t even comprehend how that would work, to which I proceeded to really blow his mind and described Burning Wheel to him. But it raises an important question: what does it mean to be part of a scene? 

A scene is an intellectual space that exists for a time and then vanishes. Be it poets or painters or wargaming nerds, there’s a time and place for innovation in a particular art, and it is demarcated mainly by its horrific bloody end. The blogs links are broken, the big players are shown to be either jackasses or criminals, the OSR is dead, long live the OSR! But more seriously: I am a DM adherent to a style of running games that for the most part has lost its place in the larger RPG conversation. In some ways I’m like a martial artist during the Progressive Era in China, or an artist in the Progressive Era in the West unfortunate enough to die or become whatever Ezra Pound was up to

Speaking of artists turning to fascism, it’s funny to me that there’s this push against using race in the TTRPG space because of its racial or ethnic connotations, but not a push against class because of its political or economic connotations. However, personally I’m coming around on “heritage” and “profession” for those game terms. An entire subsect of RPGs uses profession as the marker for skill generation for characters from the Warhammer Fantasy line. For Long Rim, a part of the character creation is rolling what religious faction you’re aligned with, even if your character isn’t all that much of a believer (at least it was, this is a section of character generation that can be dropped for more setting-neutral play). As I wrote in this article years ago now, what makes up a character is their debt and what they do to get out from under that debt. Into the Odd’s Electric Bastionlands does this the best, I think: rolling up the debt is part of the character creation process, and the group is bound together because they all owe the same organization something. However, both Bastionlands and Ultraviolet Grasslands miss the mark for me just because they provide all these crazy goofy professions when I literally just want something like the profession list in Dungeon Crawl Classics or Black Powder, Black Magic (or Boot Hill!): people have ordinary jobs and they’re entering an extraordinary world. If they’re already weird, how do the players relate? (I understand there’s an argument here about gatekeeping the goofy, that the fun comes from diving into the crazy right away, but it always gets in the way I run my own games. To each his own, I know.)

When I run a new game of Ultraviolet Grasslands straight, I’ve been starting the party in the Azure Ruins in the Bluelands, not technically in the Grasslands proper. This way, I can set the tone: there’s some strangeness going on in the former Bluelands, mostly cultish mischief styled after rampant sectarianism, but for the most part it’s typical black powder fantasy. When they get to the Purple City and meet the talking cats and drug smoking biker-slavers and the Lime Nomads they know “oh, this is weird.” If the craziness is set to 10 at the very beginning, there’s no place for it to ramp up. It’s also one of the reasons I’m both excited and worried about UVG 2E and the expansion of the map east, up past the Circle Sea. On the one hand, more content, on the other, more gonzo weirdness to balance. I’m also sure that my setting of Long Rim has the perfect fix for the UVG map: habitable band of a tidally locked planet, link the maps top to bottom. 

My setting of Long Rim is kind of built on this, taking some inspiration from games like Destiny and Anthem. I really like this “lost archeo-tech new world” feel some of the games have, something that is easy to depict in art and hard to showcase in gameplay. Of course, this comes with the caveat that both of these games are bad, in two ways. The first is how the gameplay rarely reaches the level of the ascetic, and the second is the missed potential of the ascetic for the story. Destiny has this “fighter thief magic user in space with guns and melee weapons,” “fantasy as scifi” feel to it, not to mention the crawling around ancient ruins of a past human golden age, and Anthem has this “robot fantasy,” “real people living in the ruins” feel, and both just fuck it up. I mean, that’s what the Obscured Goddess is all about: she’s an AI who’s taking the place of a D&D deity, her temple is a server room. Spending time figuring out why they don’t work is important for what I want to do with Long Rim.

Luka Rejec Fanboi Hours

Considering I have been talking about his work, it should come as no surprise to find that I am a Luka Rejec fanboy. I kickstarted Ultraviolet Grasslands (which was a horrible decision that haunts me every time I pick up that hardcover rulebook), I followed Red Sky Dead City closely, I have hard copies of both Witchburner and Longwinter, I followed his blog back when SEACAT had old Black Hack rules… hell, I follow him on Twitter. Considering that using Twitter is probably a sin at worse and a herion addiction at best, this is a Big Deal™. The only thing I don’t do is support him on Patreon, which… I mean, you should if that’s your thing… it’s not mine yet. And it’s with a heavy heart I realized that there’s a lot of stuff Rejec has put out that I don’t like. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, he’s great, and I came into the OSR scene at a time where there were major players to be followed, so checking his blog for what he’s working on feels like the good old days. However, I have two major complaints about Rejec. The first is more general, applying to all indie and industry game developers, and the second is more specific to him. 

Buying Products for Play

I buy an adventure, an campaign, a dungeon, in order to cut down the time spent in prep. It’s not that I can’t do the work, it’s that I don’t want to. 

I don’t know if I’ve talked about the False Trinity of Game Design on this blog, but if so, here’s a quick refresher: people imagine there’s three pillars of tabletop RPG design, the player, the DM, and the game designer. The game designer creates the rules system for the entire game, the DM adjudicates those rules for his table, and the player enjoys the ride. However, this idea isn’t true: there’s actually just the player. The DM is a type of player, and the game designer is not as required as he makes you think because his role requires you to give him money. Because of this false trinitarianism, a lot of people struggle with how to properly arrange themselves in the RPG space. Playing a tabletop game is not like reading a book or watching a movie, regardless of how bad WotC wants to transition to being a consumable digital medium. 

Let’s paint a picture: if I was out clearing brush on a backwoods property, I could do that job with a pair of gloves and a machete. It would be long, arduous work, but it could be done. (In fact, there may be days where I might want to do that kind of work, labor where doing the labor is part of the enjoyment, looking back on a woodpile full of wood and going “yes, I have accomplished a task.”) But sometimes you want a tool to help you preform a task better. Imagine if I ordered a chainsaw online. A chainsaw is good, it accomplishes the task easier and faster and with less physical demand than I could do it with a machete. Now imagine that when the chainsaw was delivered it came unassembled and when I opened the instructions, it was full of encouragement that putting together the chainsaw was fun and exciting! Now, it might be, I’ve never mucked around with putting together a chainsaw beyond replacing a chipped chain, but the problem is that I didn’t order a chainsaw to put together a chainsaw: I ordered a chainsaw to clear brush. While they might seem like similar tasks (both involving chainsaws), they are not the same task. Putting together a chainsaw leaves you with a complete chainsaw and an overgrown field. 

In this parable, the chainsaw is the anticanon adventure and the backwoods is the game at the table: you are selling me one thing, but I need another. The solution I have purchased is yet another problem to assemble. I don’t want you to give me permission to imagine elves in a different way than you’ve imagined, I already had that right before I bought the book. I do not require your consent to use the book however I want. There’s an introduction for one OSR adventure that explains that you could use the book as written, or parts of the book, or let the book inspire you for your own game, or even use the book to prop up a shaky table or use it to kill bugs. In the old days there was an understanding between the indie OSR writer and the DM that at the end of the day, the book was a complete thing, and it could be used or ignored at leisure. 

When I buy a setting book what I want is how the setting works. Not “let your players do the heavy lifting,” not “it’s ambiguous and contradictory for a reason,” not “this is fun, trust us.” I want the thing you meant when you thought it and then I either go “wow, that’s so imaginative,” or I go “wow that’s neat, but at the table I think I’ll do this instead,” or I go “that’s dumb, I want to run Boot Hill.” Offering tables for what could be is nice, because a good random table prompts imagination, but now you’ve given me work. When I buy an RPG product, I want a complete thing, something that enhances me as a DM, not something that assigns more work. I’m purchasing a product to avoid doing work.

On a side note, this is also how you should respond to drama in the TTRPG community. The author is dead, the RPG author doubly so. If someone made a game and it turns out they’re a distasteful person, you should still be able use their stuff because even running straight from their book you’re going to make it your own as you run the content. Too many good blogs died because they hitched their wagon to a bad mule, when it’s always easier to just raise your own livestock. This metaphor is out of hand, help me. 

Of course, now we get to the Wizard in the room. On the one hand, when I purchase a product I want it to work, but I also don’t want to sell my soul to a corporate overlord to play my tabletop games. A lot of the Systems Reference Document/Open Game License drama has blown over since I first started writing this blog post months ago, but it bears repeating: the game developer is an optional element to the activity of tabletop gaming. The DM is suppose to do the work of creating the game, all the tools he uses are just that: tools. If I buy a chainsaw to clear brush, that does not mean the chainsaw company has any right to the field that I own. It’s my field, your tool is optional. A corporation has as much right to tabletop gaming as a yarn company has a right to activity of knitting.

And I think many of the worries that were fostered by the OGL madness have been unfounded at worst and incredibly interesting at best. There was always a culture of using the Creative Commons to release content, and Pathfinder’s Piazo, a company born as the consequence of the 4th Edition War, is working on its own ORC to yet again exploit the division caused by the owner of D&D. But what’s really exciting is how this has prompted so many people to try a lot of third party games. Many people are beginning to recognize that there are more systems and settings than “superhero fantasy.” This mass exodus and doubling down on old rule systems is not unusual: the Edition War is but one of the ways God makes new grognards.

The other major complaint I have about Rejec is that he’s on the forefront of this idea in the scene to run anticannon games. There has always been this push since the days of the Forge to deemphasize the role the DM has in the running of the game. However, my response to this borders on political, so I’ll just say that an organization composed of individuals that consent to a developed hierarchy is not the same as being oppressed by hierarchy and move on. 

Rejec says one thing and does another. “We’re all friends here, building the world together,” he says, smiling, “everyone has an equal say in the creation of the game world,” and he assigns all the players part of the world to create and then he has the audacity to turn around and write shit like “There is no Witch” or “Winter comes and not only can the players can’t do anything to stop it, they can’t even find out it’s going to happen.” On the one hand, he offers players the opportunity to be part of the game creation, on the other the adventures he publishes railroads them hard. This might be an unfair analysis mostly because I’m not with the game design interview he gave here, but it’s like, dude. Come on.

(His adventure Holy Mountain Shaker gets a pass: spolier, but collapsing dungeon after dealing with the boss is a time honored gamer trope.)

Anticanon flows back into the first complaint a bit: at the end of the day I am buying a product. It has a purpose. If the idea is to give me things that might inspire me, okay I get it, but make that clear that “some assembly required.” Every time you give me something where I have to do more work, you have made a bad tool. Everytime I think about a hiccup I’ve had to overcome in UVG, I am reminded of the greatest dungeon/adventure ever put onto paper: Gradient Descent for Mothership. I know for a fact I’ve talked about it here so read that blog post, but I recently ran it for another group of gamers and I cannot stress just how usable and enjoyable it is to run that module. Everything you need to run the game is there in the book, and you don’t even really need to read it beforehand to run it at the table. It is the gold standard of dungeon design and everyone should own a copy.

The Ice Hell

SPOILERS FOR WITCHBURNER AND LONGWINTER BELOW

Okay, so you’ve complained about indie developers and corporate developers, what’s this game you’re planning? 

So, I’ve spent I don’t know how much digital ink shitting on Luka Rejec, now I’m going to tell you how much I love him and his work. I ran Witchburner relatively straight, relatively recently, for the Monday Group and it was a lot of fun. There were some changes I made and some pitfalls I fell into running the game from the book, however. First, there was no witch. My players, who had spent weeks trying to figure out who the fuck the witch was, almost setting multiple people on fire (though they did burn the schoolhouse down), struggling and failing, were really upset at the reveal that it had all been for naught. (If only I had let them do some worldbuilding!) By running the game as is was designed to be run, as a DM I felt like I had failed them. If you run the game, I would recommend randomly rolling a witch, but see below. 

Likewise, I didn’t constrain them with the drink rule (everyone offers the players brandy, making them roll charisma checks at disadvantage, which makes no sense for an investigation game) and I gave all the players the magic ability to make thier eyes glow purple and “see into a character’s past” so I could read verbatim the cool-as-hell backstories all the characters had to squeeze as much content from the book as possible. There was a weird moment where one of the side characters (not a suspect) was mentioned as being a “Republican shield maiden” but the way it was written the Republic was an civilization that stopped existing thousands of year ago and the players were like “it’s not a witch it’s a vampire we kill this borderline nameless NPC” and spent a session on a red herring. Arguably, the entire investigation is a red herring, but I’m trying to not be too negative here considering I’ve been so negative already in this post. I don’t think I would keep the architectural descriptions of each house either, but then again, see below. That’s also a problem in UVG, by the way, that there are these ages that you can roll on but what actually happened in those ages is unclear. I mean, I get it, it gives you a tool to generate something from the “Ming Dynasty,” to give treasure a sense of antiquity, but there’s got to be a better way to incorporate that into the game at large.

So, I am writing a game in the same way you would a three act play, using three different supplement settings to transition into each act until the bitter cold end. The goal is a complete and cohesive Ice Hell: players start with a small problem, that blossoms into a larger problem, that blossoms into escaping the Ice Hell. I want to use Witchburner, Do Not Let Us Die In The Dark Night Of This Cold Winter, and Longwinter in a combined effort.

The First Act is directly inspired by Witchburner. The party, either explicitly or accidently, find themselves charged with finding a witch. Sometimes the game might start in the Longwinter city of Veldey, the one with the hot springs with the party getting a deed to a hot spring in a small town. Sometimes the game starts off straight: the party are witchburners, they’re here to burn a witch. Regardless, the first act is about getting the players to the village. It’s in a narrow valley in the middle of winter, and the villagers are convinced that there’s a witch. There are some typical witchsigns (dead cat nailed to a door, voodoo dolls, strange symbols in the snow), but a lot of the signs are winter themed (white ravens in the graveyard, dead flowers melting into snow, John gets attacked by a giant white moose in the woods and dies). It’s not clear what’s what. At the end of week one, an avalanche washes out the road into the village: players can leave, but it’s hard trekking through the winter backwoods. They can and skip out of the other two acts, which I think Rejec would approve of.

In the village, every villager has a secret, something that would take about three days to find out and is completely mundane and ordinary, but goes against the taboos or culture of the town. (Some of the default Witchburner ones were kind of suspicious, like, was that one guy a werewolf or not? What was the deal with the chick who body-shifted when she dreamed? What’s the difference between mundane folk magic and witchery?) Remove a lot of the magic, but play up the tribalism of the town: there are churchmen of the Green Moon and trade unionists, and the specter of separation is everywhere. 

By the way, the Wild Child’s secret is that he fucking exists. Give out the sheets of the suspects to players and when one of them asks to see the Wild Child just go “who the hell is that?” and then when he shows up at the end of week two all the players can go “hello there.”

As players investigate the town, for every suspect they question, allow them to place a house on the map, using the resources in the back of Do Not Let Us Die In The Dark Night Of This Cold Winter. It’s less about the architectural history of each house and more about letting them build a real place. Literally let them build the town as they explore it. 

The point of the First Act is this: the players are given a bait and switch, though one that doesn’t cut as deep as the original Witchburner. There is a witch, there are strange occurrences, those occurrences are not just coincidences, but the source is wrong. The people of the town know that the winter weather is unusual and want to find a solution to the problem, and they believe the problem is a witch, which in some ways it is. However, everywhere in the region (though the players don’t know this yet), the same drama is unfolding, people trying to make sense of what’s going on. They see a small part of the puzzle, and imagine that they can fix it by fixing this village here. 

The Second Act is directly inspired from Do Not Let Us Die In The Dark Night Of This Cold Winter. The witch is burned (or found frozen in the middle of the woods), and the blizzard starts, and now the players have to keep the village alive. All of the surviving suspect villagers will pile into a larger home for warmth. They’ll probably use the Storemaster’s warehouse as the storeroom, after raiding the place for cold weather gear, extra blankets, and lanterns. If the Storemaster is still alive, she makes a point to record each and every piece of inventory leaving and who is using it, to charge the user later. It won’t matter. If the adventurers want all the villagers to stay in their homes, then they’ll all die separated and alone. They’ll realize their mistake after the third or fourth village they find frozen to their bed with all their firewood used up. 

The players should not be forced to roll any sort of Constitution saving throws to collect resources or suffer damage from the frost. The winter snow isn’t here for them. For now. For now, the goal is simple: all these people the players have spent the last thirty days investigating, getting to know, growing to love or hate, all of them are going to freeze to death. This is dark. It’s bleak. It’s not for the faint of heart. I know I shouldn’t have to say this, but before running this, make sure your players know how heavy this game is going to get before you get to this point, preferably before you run a witch hunt with no witch. 

You come back and one of the villagers is sitting apart from the rest of the group, holding a piece of ice to a bruised cheek and a black eye. When they see you, they try to jump up and talk but another villager leaps up to hit her again. “They’re a witch!” “No they’re not!” The other villager roars. “No one’s a witch! There wasn’t any witch! It didn’t matter! Don’t you understand how stupid we were? How because we were so preoccupied with stupid superstition now we’re going to freeze to death here!”

If you want to soften the blow, you can adjust the difficulty of surviving the winter. There should be some loss of life, but don’t make it the terror it could be yet. 

The point of the Second Act is this: the players have spent a month investigating these characters, finding out their backstories, forming relationships, and making enemies. Now, the players get to watch as all these characters freeze to death. Finding the witch doesn’t matter anymore. In some ways, it never mattered. 

The Third Act is directly inspired by Longwinter. The town is dead, frozen to death by a snowstorm that is not letting up. There is no food, no heat, and the only chance is to run. The players have to get out of the region alive. 

You come accross one village, completely abandoned save for a massive bank, the village has all huddled in the vault, burning the paper money for warmth. They’re emaciated, and some are blankly staring at the fire, chewing on hundred dollar bills. In another, the remnants of a burned down beerhall, the signs of blackened bodies in the white snow. In a third, so very much like the village you’re fleeing from, with their own witch burned in the middle of their own courtyard, the same drama played out with different actors. The question blows through you like the arctic wind: how many times has this play been performed across the frozen hell you find yourself in? 

The point of the Third Act is this: as the players leave the village and try to make it out, they come across other people, all who have experienced the same thing the players have over their own two months of frozen hell. Some are better than the players, some are worse. Scenes of horror are common. There are some points of light, some communities that survive with their souls intact, but most don’t. The call of the scapegoat is too strong. Now, it’s up to the players to respond. They’ll survive. Who they become after is the question.

Alas, Strict Time Records Must Be Kept

Oh my god, Caravaneer! You could’ve ended it right there! That’s such a strong close! “Who they become”? Powerful! Alas, that little voice in my head has been pestering me as I edited that last section that I actually haven’t provided any gamable content. And as such I have to at least try and pretend I game.

Witchburner breaks up its day on a four watches based on six hours each. For Forbidden Lands, it’s called a watch, and each travel action takes place on the four watches. Instead of making players roll for drunkeness every social interaction, I said that there were four watches to a day, but players had to spend a watch sleeping or take fatigue damage. It was a good choice, because one player always slept in the afternoon so he could wander around the village in the dead of night looking for the witch and one time a bunch of players decided to stay up with him and got hit with the fatigue because keeping a watch on someone’s house was more important than sleeping.

I’m sure people have seen this image of the “Proposed New Stardard Year,” made up of thirteen equal months made up of 28 days each. This is insanely impractical in the modern world and usually suggested by people who are equally ignorant of both agriculture and computer programming. However, in a world of elves and magic, whose to say that the optimal calendar couldn’t also exist?

Not to mention there are 28 day calendars in real life: there are lunar calendars, and lunisolar calendars that try and match up the sun and the moon. Not only is every Monday the first of the month, its also the full moon. By the way, here’s a section of a Wikipedia article about customary issues in modern Japan due to their calendar.

So, here’s something that you can steal:

A month calendar for Longwinter/Witchburner

Four watches a day, seven days a week, four weeks a month. The first day of every week is Monday (or whatever fantasy equivalent you want to use), every Monday has a phase of the moon. The new month is represented by the full moon. Day weather corresponds to the first two watches of the day, night weather corresponds to the last two watches. You can either roll it randomly every day or assign the weather beforehand. Columns on the left are for preplanned events: villagers going missing, witch signs being found, etc. Columns on the right are for player actions so you remember what every player did every watch, who they talked to, etc. One watch is spent sleeping. In small scale games, travel is broken up by watch: three watches to travel to the next village, a sack of supply fuels… eight watches? And speaking of sacks of supply:

A year calendar for UVG

A year calendar for UVG: four weeks to a month, three months to a season, four seasons to a year. Every week is another phase of the moon. A sack of supply is needed for surviving every week, travel in winter is hellish, and every season has a random event, like a region erupts in war or a plague hits. At the end of the year everyone ticks over a year in age, or let everyone roll 2d20 to determine when thier birthday is. (One of the things I realize looking at this spreadsheet is how I wish settling in for the winter was easier in UVG.) I have a third calendar combining these two types of calendar but its massive and unweildy.

Okay, this post is too long, so I’m calling it there. Good luck, have fun, game please.

An Addendum of an Addendum, or Three Ways East, or Trapped Again in No Games Hell

The Snow-Storm

Announced by all the trumpets of the sky,
Arrives the snow, and, driving o’er the fields,
Seems nowhere to alight: the whited air
Hides hills and woods, the river, and the heaven,
And veils the farm-house at the garden’s end.
The sled and traveller stopped, the courier’s feet
Delayed, all friends shut out, the housemates sit
Around the radiant fireplace, enclosed
In a tumultuous privacy of storm.

Come see the north wind’s masonry.
Out of an unseen quarry evermore
Furnished with tile, the fierce artificer
Curves his white bastions with projected roof
Round every windward stake, or tree, or door.
Speeding, the myriad-handed, his wild work
So fanciful, so savage, nought cares he
For number or proportion. Mockingly,
On coop or kennel he hangs Parian wreaths;
A swan-like form invests the hidden thorn;
Fills up the farmer’s lane from wall to wall,
Maugre the farmer’s sighs; and, at the gate,
A tapering turret overtops the work.
And when his hours are numbered, and the world
Is all his own, retiring, as he were not,
Leaves, when the sun appears, astonished Art
To mimic in slow structures, stone by stone,
Built in an age, the mad wind’s night-work,
The frolic architecture of the snow.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson


Sometimes it’s surprising to find that you’re the best in the world at something. Even with something simple, something anyone can do, the discovery that you are in fact the best person on the planet at something can make you look up at the stars and wonder. 

Friend, I am the best person in the world at wasting my own time. 

I know, I know, you’re shocked. The best in the world at poorly planning out your day and working on things that don’t and may never matter? Yes, that’s me. I wrote a long blog post about the themes of a Warhammer game that’s going to be absolute garbage because I’m running it for a bunch of people who know nothing of the setting, I’m dragging my feet on working on gameable mechanics for my house rules, and, to top it all off, I just realized all the hard worldbuilding for my setting needs to be thrown out. And that’s on top of all the work I need to do to finish my Master’s. I am truly the king of wasting my own time. 

Warhammer 30K

This is the first addendum for the last article written. Two things: first, what is the everloving point of running a game of Warhammer 30K if none of the players have any experience with the setting at all? If the game has to involve the explanation of the setting, then just make a new setting. Steal obviously and flagrantly from the old setting, change all the names, add all the things you see as missed potential, and just go for it. The players can’t miss out on something they don’t know about. 

Second, setting forward systems like Star Wars and Warhammer always fall apart inevitably because when you run a game in the Star Wars universe in the “Reign of the Empire” era then some jackass player is going to say “I fly to Tatooine and kill Luke Skywalker.” Unless there’s buy-in from the players that certain actions are off limits (“We’re not going to steal the Millennium Falcon from Han or go to Kashyyyk and kill Chewbacca as a baby”) then players are really just trying to steal the copper pipes from a setting. I’ve already got my head canon of what the Warhammer 30K should have been (namely with anything written by Dan Abnett thrown directly into the garbage), just do the extra work, file off the names, and let the players know all the shit they want to do in the name of Chaos is on the table. No worries about “Oh so and so character is canonically supposed to die here so blah blah blah” because it’s not the setting as is. A tabletop game’s rules evolve from table to table, why wouldn’t the setting? 

Which is why knowing what the theme is so important. 

Your eyes follow the lander that bears the Emperor of Mankind intensely. The first thing you see is the triumvirate sigil of the Imperium: three circles stacked on top of one another emblazoned on the head of the spacecraft. The first and largest circle, bronze inlaid with rubies, represents the Mechanicum of Mars, the engineers and mechanics of the Imperium. Within this first circle is the second, silver inlaid with sapphires, representing the Selenar of Luna, the architects of the gene-forges and keepers of the archive. Within this second is the third and final circle, the smallest but most splendid. It is gold inlaid with diamonds, fashioned into the image of an unconquered sun; it represents Him on Earth, the Emperor of Mankind. All three, combined, represent those kingdoms too powerful to be overrun by the Imperium in the early days of Unification. 

In this setting, the Imperium is explicitly a Roman one. I also had this idea of a system or pre-Unifacation bad guy, but the only notes I wrote down were “Garden Tyrant, lord of a green garden fortress,” which is based and I will return to this idea in the future. Maybe when the party is sneaking onto Terra its a character they run into?  

Cardinal Directions Make My Face Go Red

Earlier, I uploaded another blog post about how I was concerned about the geography of my setting and after I hit post I went to bed. As I was falling asleep, I realized something absolutely critical. One of the things that was kind of important to me about the setting was the distinction between the cardinal directions. When you travel from north to south, at some point you reach the poles and you can no longer travel south; every direction becomes north. This is the same with the north pole; at some point, every direction is south. The direction is determined by a point. East and west are different: when you travel east, regardless of how long and how far you go, you will never reach west. West isn’t a point, it’s distinguished by the fact that it is not east. And as I was going to sleep, I realized it doesn’t matter. 

You see, the people on the Long Rim are trapped between a technology level of Medieval European and American Old West: there are sixguns and wagons, banks and universities, but a lot of the technology of the spacefaring race where they all spawn from is mysterious and unknowable at this point. Arthur C. Clarke and “indistinguishable from magic” and all that. There wouldn’t be a magnetic north for them to follow. 

And then I came to the realization that again, I have wasted my time and people knew how to navigate before compasses, Caravaneer, they used the stars. The fact that the sun always rises and sets in the west is critical navigational knowledge, and if the sun wasn’t up then they could still navigate by following the stars. And then I talked to the man in the robe and wizard hat and he pointed out that instead of the cardinal directions, if each city or town was in a line where you hit them in order than direction would mean much less than which of the major cities you were moving away from or towards (X-ways or X-ward or something where X is the name of the city.)

So I’m just going to throw up some world building stuff for Long Rim and go die. 

Three Ways East

The first city is Berseri, the Radiant City, the former capital of the world empire a thousand years ago and one of the three central trade hubs on the Long Rim. Berseri is a city of immaculately cut stone and perfectly manicured gardens and pathways, with districts both independent of one another and part of a beautiful tapestry. It almost feels like individual townships decided to start building towards one another, and have convergently evolved in the same architectural and societal way into this larger civic organism. There’s an organicness to the city: the roads aren’t straight, and you never know when a stone road will curve into a residential district, or a garden orchard, or straight to a massive cathedral. The Church of the Radiant Goddess is strong here, and while the city and the Church are not the same entity, there’s an understood allegiance in the government of the city. Many places in the Long Rim are ruled from Berseri. 

The second city is Talcard, the Synergized City, a relatively new city that established its national sovereignty three hundred years ago. Talcard is like if a wooden fortress on the Russian border just kept expanding year after year until it consumed all the material around it. There are many stone buildings, usually churches but also many personal mansions and merchant manors that have been around long enough to warrant their reconstruction into a more sturdy material. The people of Talcard are liturgically led by a figure known as the Patriarch, who dictates the doctrine of faith that attempts to fully synthesize belief in both the Radiant and Obscured Goddesses. Sometimes it’s not really clear what the people of Talcard believe, just that sometimes they believe the same thing as you do “and as such you should buy from me, friend!” and sometimes they believe something completely different “and you should convert and come to my church, it’s very nice!” 

The third “city” is Karam, the Obscured City, though to call it a city is somewhat incorrect. It consists of thousands of wagons and horses, all moving in a massive caravan from north to south. Every few years, the city makes it to Berseri or Talcard and it’s like a giant festival. Karami merchants buy out entire districts of goods, sell exotic and foreign goods from around the world, and the city doubles in size. Regardless of the stone of Berseri or the wood of Talcard, for a couple months the city is clothed in the wild kaleidoscope of silks from the Karam. 

Talcard loves this, it’s a season of festivals, but also of spies, of information gathering, of making alliances and gauging strength. Berseri is starting to hate this: there are quite a few wealthy old hands in the government that enjoy the return of Karam and stock up on teas and luxury items, but many new up and comers in the administration are starting to feel uncomfortable with a city full of foreigners filling the streets every few years, especially when some of them decide to lay down roots. And they’re not exactly wrong, because there are a number of Talcardi spies currently living in Berseri who made it there under the cover as Karami horsemen who decided to stay. Likewise, Karam is starting to dislike staying in Talcard long: they see the spy games as irritating and getting in the way of business, and the Talcardi missionaries are starting to get pushy about the whole “Twin Faced Goddess” nonsense (“They’re not the same, we literally asked the Obscured Goddess last time we saw her and she said no.”). The war between Talcard and Berseri is a cold one, one waged on economic and political fronts, because neither has the military ability to really fight the other.

Karam does not tax its citizens, but requires much more than the other two cities: they are bound by steppe travel, and as such trust between travelers is very important. The consequence for theft of food or horses is typically capital punishment, and in cases that need arbitration, a council of merchants headed by the Caravan Lord makes the decision, with the role of Caravan Lord changing depending on the leg of journey and the navigation skill of the merchant. The Caravan City moves as fast as its slowest participant, fostering cooperation between travelers who want to move as fast as possible. There are great merchant houses who have lived generations on the road. Sometimes these Great Houses decide to settle somewhere they feel they can dominate an industry, and a town springs up overnight. As Karam travels, caravans splinter off, going off in wild directions whenever they feel the time is right to leave the Caravan City. 

Long Rim Mechanics

As the party travels the Long Rim, they will pick up followers. These are divided into three groups. The first are caravan guards, combatants that can be used in combat, the second are camp followers, who help with tasks but aren’t combatants, and the third are tagalongs, people who, if the caravan gets large enough, really just want to travel along with the caravan. 

I hate running retainers. Hell, I hate running NPCs that travel with the party for long periods of time. It’s always a pain to remember who is with the party at any given point in time, and then there’s always that point where a player goes, “Hey, where’s Joe?” and then you have to go “Fuck, I forgot about Joe.” I will admit I did have an enjoyable experience playing Bouncequartz Gazetteer with Ex Miscellanea where there were basically two kinds of retainers, hirelings and heroes. Hirelings were almost like a dice modifier for mass rolls and heroes were extra characters that players could use if things got spicy, almost like a 0-Level Funnel. There was a direct mechanical benefit to having a village of peasants following you into the basement of House of Leaves

I don’t think anyone does mass group combat and management in the OSR like Into the Odd. The section about “Enterprise and War” is phenomenal, and I recommend trying out that system at your table and seeing how your players interact with it. What I’m trying to do here is figure out the first steps into a mass caravan management that’s actually fun to mess with. 

So, here’s my first doodle: a caravan has fifteen slots. Imagine a five by three table; that’s all the space a caravan can take up. In the middle of the table is the party. The middle space is a free space. It represents all the horses and equipment of the party. As party members begin to build out their caravan, they can begin adding groups to these slots. Do you want a band of nomad horsemen to ride with you? Fill the slot next to your party. What about escorting merchants? Fill a slot. If you’re carrying lots of goods, like a wagon’s worth, then that’s a caravan slot. The good has a times-ten modifier: you’re literally got a wagon’s worth of opium. 

Maybe some units require more slots. Let’s say you find an artillery unit for hire; that’s two slots, one for the weapons and one for the ammo wagon. Maybe units can provide the caravan with other benefits outside of combat. You’re riding with a band of farriers and saddlers, so the caravan can travel faster and any misfortunes that make you lose animals you ignore. 

If a party discovers a dungeon, players can “check out” slots to bring with them. Want the nomad swordsmen to tag along as you investigate this ruin? Done. Either: 1) Players can each check out one group to bring with them, but are responsible for managing them. If a player brings a group of shotgunners with them and forgets to roll for them or use them, then they’re around the corner nervously smoking cigarettes and avoiding work. Or 2) The party can choose one slot to bring with them, and the DM runs them. Caravan guards are unique: they will do combat, but only combat on the overworld. They won’t go into dungeons, but they’ll make sure no one fucks with your stuff while you’re down there. 

If the caravan gets attacked you can figure out who gets ambushed, with the three inner slots as “safe” slots in a maxed out caravan. If a merchant with their own caravan wants to travel with you, you can combine caravans. Let the players play the tetris game of putting the merchant, the 

Karam is a caravan of a hundred slots. Karam is the caravan equivalent of the titular Spelljammer from Spelljammer. Karam is the Caravan Crawl. 

Conclusion

So that’s it. Technically the first official blog post of the year, since this has the triumvirate of “thing I like,” “fiction I wrote,” and “game thing.” It was getting hairy there for a moment, not going to lie. Might go back to semi-quiet for the next few weeks as work picks up again. Roll more dice, play more games.

#Dungeon23: Tripping Over the Starting Line

Outside of Targon, the forests died away again, consumed by the all-encompassing steppe. The sun shone weakly over the western mountains, illuminating the steppe in soft white light, though not hot enough to dry the mud. 

Jeol was having a bad time with the wagon. Recent rains had washed out what little trail there was, making the ground hidden behind the tall grass a muddy bog that would’ve swallowed both horse hoofs and wagon wheels if he had been a worse wagonmaster. But Jeol was an old hand at the driver’s trade: a bad back, a scarred chest, and quite a pretty penny wasting away in some bank as evidence of the fact. 

The outfit that had hired him consisted of four gunmen obsessed with some scrap of steel out close to Jawbreak Canyon. They had chittered both to him and to themselves about some great big score, some massive treasure that would pay out for lifetimes. Jeol always took payment upfront for that kind of talk. Too many fools who thought they could outsmart both the Obscured Goddess and her steppeland realm had died before paying him what they owed.

The sun tried to dry the land but failed. And the wind blows. 


Guess who slammed into the semester like driving into a wall? Is it the siren call once again? “Johnny NoGames,” she cries, the sound wafting through the air like freshly baked bread…

Okay, I’ve been a bad boy, and I haven’t done any rooms for #Dungeon23. I got distracted with worldbuilding my setting and rulecrafting my system. I’ve been thinking about really buckling down on finishing my house rules and putting everything aside until I have a system to run at the table, especially with all of The Discourse at the moment. I think that’s going to be my gaming focus instead of my super cool dungeon idea that you can read here. “But Caravaneer,” I hear you say, “isn’t this like failing your New Year’s Resolution in January?” Well, the joke’s on you, I’ve been flying by the seat of my pants for the last two years and I’m not stopping now. 

So, worldbuilding first. The Long Rim is the habitable band of an almost eyeball planet with no moon. (Maybe a moon, I’ve been thinking about that too.) The day is bright, the night is dark, and the sun both rises and sets in the sunbaked west. Following my inspiration, it’s still a steppe, though I got distracted with the idea of maybe making it a jungle, considering there is a hot and cold side of the planet and the band would be where the winds would meet so there might be a whole bunch of rain, similar to the monsoon season in India butting against the Hindu Kush and Tibet. However, I’m waved off on this by two things: first, the rivers that this would cause. If the party can travel by floating down rivers then it might trivialize the travel portion of the game. The second is the resource management element of the game. Jungles, unlike steppes, are flush with life. There’s no worry about dying from thirst on the river or running out of food. The concern shifts from finding food to the food eating you, the challenge of cutting through the jungle itself. Also, if I did go in this direction, it would be more akin to Pacific temperate rainforests or Japanese temperate rainforests, especially in the light of sawanobori from this blog post

However, as I think about it, a riverrun would fit a point crawl really well. There could be points on the crawl where people could pick up goods and quests, and the fact that rivers always flow in one direction could gate progression to one direction, a constant inextricable movement towards the Black City and the end of the line. I’m thinking about the Dnieper Rapids and the Siberian River Routes in particular. Vikings traveling to Constantinople would ride their longships on the river and would have to brave the rocks and rapids of the river, sometimes even having to haul their ships overland to make it to the next river. Not to mention, as an American, all the fun that folks got up to on the Mississippi. In the same vein, instead of having everyone have a character sheet and the caravan has a group sheet like UVG, the ship that the party is using has a character ship and can be improved on, and each person in the party has a role on the boat: captain, carpenter, doctor, armsman. It makes more sense, and the boat can serve as a mobile base for the players. Also, for exploring, they could take the approved and mapped rivers, facing the tolls and civilization that come along with it, or they could brave unexplored waterways and sail their boat right off a waterfall. I’m digging this more and more as I think about it.

One of the hard parts about this project is wasting energy: this is all hard worldbuilding, figuring out geography to then figure out how people might respond to life in those geographic regions which then informs the way the world works. However, there are two problems with this approach: first, it discounts soft worldbuilding, where elements are included in the setting not because it makes sense literally, but it makes sense figuratively, and second, because this is not the way developing a tabletop game setting should work.

First, the work I’ve done on the Goddesses is kind of in the middle of this hard and soft worldbuilding. There are reasons people believe in the Radiant Goddess, but the reason I included it was that I love religion, especially the way people interact with religion. It’s one of the reasons that rolling what sect you’re a part of is part of the character creation. I haven’t been obsessed over religion in the same way. Or maybe I have. On the one hand, focusing too much on hard worldbuilding is a waste of energy because it’s not like players are going to ask why there’s a river here, they just see a river. On the other hand, as the DM and the arbiter of the setting, you have to make sure it makes sense to you unless you simply wash your hands of the work altogether which is arguably the better way of doing this.

Second, part of the joy of tabletop games is discovering the game together with friends. People make suggestions about the way things work and the arbitrator of the setting, the DM, says yes or no. I remember an OSR game where as a player the party discovered a desert of black sand where there were diamonds and obsidian in the dunes. I asked the DM if I could fashion rakes to make searching the dunes easier and with a smile, he said “Yes, that’s how it works, the orcs used these large rakes to sift the dunes.” With a question, the world was created. That’s the best part of OSR games: exploration that even the DM isn’t aware of. 

So, game thoughts, how to begin to apply this: maybe start with a “short rim.” Find a random hex generator online that lists hexes by a single type of terrain (for this example I’m thinking desert planet), and then print off six pages of hex paper. Make sure the hexes are flush with the top and bottom of the page. Explain to the players that these pages are actually the bands on a planet, the west and east sides of the pages are inhospitable to life (too hot in this example). There are no landmarks on the pages, not yet. Then, just have a party just explore. As they find things, they mark them on the map. If they reach the top and bottom of the pages, move them to the next sheet. The top of sheet one links to the bottom of sheet six. When they’re done exploring, staple the top of the sheets to the bottoms: that’s the band, that’s how big the planet is. It would make a good exercise to see if what I’m thinking of for the Long Rim is fun. 

As for rulescrafting, I wrote something about emphasizing culture over race in B/X classes, so that instead of dwarves and elves you have different groups of humans who partake in different roles of dungeon crawling because of what they value, but it kind of fell apart and I wasn’t sure where I was going with it, so this comment serves as its headstone. RIP in peace. 

So yeah, week one of #Dungeon23 done! And I think that’s it. I’ve always been bad at internet challenges, I remember the days I could delude myself into thinking I could write a novel in a month, but I think my time is better spent elsewhere. And by “elsewhere,” I mean actually running games.

A Quick Thought and a Return: Exploration and Evolution

Finished with my penultimate semester and have been enjoying the break, had a massive blog planned but never got around to polishing it to the level I wanted. Here’s a small thought about mega dungeons for your break and mine.

The megadungeon solves one video game problem in tabletop form: exploration and evolution. When first encountering a space in a video game, it seems massive, like Stormveil Castle in Elden Ring or the map in Death Stranding. It is expanded by potential: who knows how many rooms there are, what kinds of enemies there are, what kinda of traps and treasures. However, once explored, the potential is lost, and while you can spend time exploring the area and potentially finding hidden secrets, the space has shrunk. What was once massive is now small, and shrinks as you master the space further. One way to fix this problem is the way roguelike games fix it: total random generation. Every dungeon, every map, is different based on the player run. While this fixes the potential problem, it introduces a new one: it eliminates player knowledge. You can’t get to know a dungeon because the dungeon always changes. 

The megadungeon fixes both of these problems with the introduction of factions: different groups in the dungeon are killed off, move to different areas, and alter existing rooms. Each exploration changes the dungeon because of the way the dungeon denizens interact with one another and the space around them. Knowledge of the space remains intact because certain layouts don’t change, but new experiences can still be found, providing the balance between player knowledge and player skill. 

Building a faction list of four different groups, all with different kinds of relationships between them, is critical to making a megadungeon both alive and ever-changing. Two at war, two at uneasy peace, two unaware of each other’s existence. Factions willing to board up doors, rearm traps, and hide treasure in old rooms. I also like color and graffiti as indicators: blue tapestries, red paint, yellow flowers blooming from the walls, and so on.

One thing to consider is the adventure party as sledgehammer: the party experiences the original room, traps and all. However, after the adventurers leave, that’s when the factions make changes to that area of the dungeon. Exploration and evolution occurs at the rate of the party. 

And that’s it! Expect more soon, and Merry Christmas!

Little Johnny NoGames Finally Loses the Epithet

O sages standing in God’s holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing-masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.

Sailing to Byzantium by William Butler Yeats


She had lied.

It was not unusual, of course. The Obscured Goddess often did. The elders, unafraid of the simple rank heresy laid out by the neophytes, had once said her mind was muddled, is still muddled. She could not account for every one of her decisions, they would say, their hands heavy with their thick gray beards huddled around the fire, but for Jalick clarity had come, in this moment and no sooner. She had lied.

He was bleeding out. His lungs, probably. Sacks filled with liquid, like trying to carry water across the steppe in a bag. His life mixed with the dust and made some thick black viscous concoction as it spread across the floor. It would not last for the next crew of cutthroats that entered this particular dungeon, of course. By then it would be indiscernible, all but dried to the iron floor. But for now, for some odd reason, the pool comforted him. It was some small sign that he had been here and he had been alive, once. 

He had seen Yalid die this way, once. Of course, that time it had been in the light of the sun, far from any black-damned tomb, a bullet from a scavman’s gun. Jalick remembered holding the boy as blood oozed from the line on his face that carried his smile and the light disappeared from his eyes. Big and blue, his mother had told him. Something “worth loving,” she had said. Jalick wondered if there was some special magic, some element of remembrance, in his own brown eyes. The Goddess had not blessed him with blue eyes. She had just killed him.

It had come from the ceiling. Not a blade or a trap. He’d have seen a trap. No, this was simply wrong place, wrong time. Pipes and cords burst loose from their long-held resting places by a bunch of dumb tribesmen traipsing the place in search of long-forgotten treasure. A luckier looter might have escaped with power burns and a story to tell at the tavern. Not Jalick, though. Jalick just had to take a wild electrified cord through the chest like a man. Jalick just had to die here. As the Goddess willed. 

For a moment, he thought of his crew. One of them must have at least leap to his aid. Someone must have shoved a silk yellow bandage into his bleeding chest. But even from here, he felt the lie. No one had saved him. No one could have saved him. They had lied to him in that brightly lit tavern, just as his Goddess had lied to him here. But not for long. The world was starting to turn. 

At some point, long beyond the confines of his perception, he fell. His mind slipped past its material bonds as he lay on the floor, down, down, down, seeping like grease between the tight metal panels. He was going somewhere, and by the Goddess, he hoped it was somewhere better. He doubted it. 

Damn. She had lied.


Man, it’s been a hot minute. 

I recently ran The Hole In The Oak by Gavin Norman in Old School Essentials over three sessions for my usual group. I really enjoyed it, especially because I didn’t make too many crazy adjustments, and I think they liked it as well. This is my first play report thing on the blog, though it’s a lot more freeform than “and then my party entered Room 2.” I focus more on lessons I can take away and how I can improve my DMing for the future

Spoilers for The Hole In The Oak ahead. 

So to inspire adventure, I told the party that a wizard was looking for three magical chess pieces and had hired them to find in the titular Hole. It forced exploration, and it naturally fell off as characters died and were introduced. At the very end of the dungeon (their time in the dungeon, not the physical end), they discovered Hazrad the Unholy, a wandering wizard with Skyrim style skull face paint who I played as just a pissed-off dude after he found out that they had smashed all the little niknaks in his hidden closet in Room 37. “Uh, I’m Hazrad the Unholy, man that was my stuff what the fuck.” They traded the chess pieces they had collected as an apology and also because they were already loaded with treasure and it was an easy way for them to ditch the quest that got them there. Lesson: Play fast and loose. If this was a longer adventure (and it could be if they decide to venture into the Incandescent Grottoes, see below), I might have that action have consequences, but for the beer and pretzel game I was running, it worked out just fine for me. 

At the end of the adventure, I had everyone pile up all the gold and treasure they had collected and total it out. Because there was a table with all the treasure in it along with the total of the dungeon, I was able to give a video game-style complete percentage (“67%!”) at the end that I just loved doing. Lesson: Stock treasure in your dungeon beforehand and give players a score on how well they did. At the very least, keep a running tally on how much treasure you’re stocking if you’re rolling it randomly as characters in the room. A good rule of thumb would be finding out how much a particular goal of theirs is and modulating so that they are almost there. If they want a tavern, make sure you only include enough for like, 70% of a tavern. I believe it was a piece of Apocalypse World GMing advice that you should give the party “almost enough.”

Also, the treasure is important! There’s no point delving into dangerous tombs if there’s no reward! It’s always better to get a magic item from solving a puzzle than buying it in town or just having it!

I attempted to use THAC0 at the beginning as OSE intended, and I don’t know what my problem was, but I just couldn’t grok it. I’ve used THAC0 in the past but trying to run the dungeon and keep things moving just bogged me down too much. Maybe I was just out of practice. I returned to a lot of 5E style mechanics the longer the dungeon crawl went for. I don’t think the players minded, but it just means the Lesson: Finish my house-ruled system. Have a rule space where everyone understands the rules and everyone feels comfortable suggesting changes.

I love anytime I can be a creepy motherfucker as a DM, and the Faces of the Deep in Room 4 was a great opportunity to do that. Discordant overlapping voices are always a fun gimmick, especially when you use them to bring up backstory and explain to players how to interact with the dungeon. I had each player roll a rumor when they started a new character, and that also helped with pushing them forward. The Faces were a place where more rumors could be generated. As for roleplay, I remember running an ancient ruin once overrun with giant undead snake monsters with human faces crying black tears who were looking for their long-dead loved ones, moaning and screaming in the darkness. Had a lot of players uncomfortable that night. Lesson: Know when to tone it back.

Speaking of “creepy motherfucker,” at the Altar of the Stump in Room 60, I gave the evil stump god the heretic gnomes worshiped this stupid “heh heh heh” evil villain laugh, solely because I liked doing it. I did it at completely inappropriate times, which made the combat a bit more goofy and comical, but this is OSR, there are places for seriousness and it’s in the total party wipe, which my players almost suffered in that fight. Speaking of the gnomes, I had a picture in the Faun’s house be a drawing done by the gnomes with “remember what they took from us” scrawled on the back, and I rolled a random encounter where the heretic gnomes had kidnapped a forest gnome that the party saved, so the gnomes took on this sectarian violence angle I enjoyed playing up. 

The Fauns I reskinned for a twist. Instead of fauns, they were Chaotic goatmen masquerading as Lawful sheepmen. I left lots of clues that they weren’t the original owners of the house, like how there were only three of them despite there being eleven sheepmen in all the photos on the walls (no one questioned how they could have photos in a medieval land, and it comes up later in Room 54 with all the pictures on the wall). When the goatmen threw off their literal sheepskins and attacked the players they all freaked. Two characters died before they could get away, but going back and getting revenge on them was very important close to the end of the dungeon. 

My players never encountered two really big elements of the dungeon: the Hunter in Room 13 and the troglodytes in Room 16. Might have just been part of not playing it more up considering they are a full faction (though the ghouls were also a “faction” and there was no option to dialog with them), but I don’t think I suffered for it. Lesson: A good faction is one with goals that can be communicated beyond violence, preferably with words. Violence is scary for people who don’t get to simply pick a new pregen when they die.

Likewise, for the Hunter, I’ve run the LotFP module The God that Crawls before, so I know how much fun it can be to have a monster that spurs exploration because you’re constantly running away from it. If it had been a more central part of the module, I could imagine adding more triggers for it to activate, but I don’t think my experience suffered because it wasn’t. Lesson: Sometimes a lot of elements of a dungeon mesh together, sometimes they don’t. Having a quest and a monster chasing and no map and rumors all might be too many cooks in the kitchen for a dungeon crawl, and it might raise the tension when it doesn’t need to be raised.

Actually, make that three things my players never encountered: they never made it to the last third of the dungeon, with all the forest and vegetation rooms that lead to the tombs. I don’t have much to say on that, save that one of the rooms is on the map in such a way that it might be difficult for the player mapper to record it accurately. Lesson: Always have a player mapping and be open and honest about where doorways and entries/exits are. I still think that Google Sheets is the best mapping software/dungeon generator out there, it just requires a little know-how in macros to pull it off.  

My players found the Reptile Cultist’s giant altar in Room 46 just as I randomly rolled the Ogre to show up from Room 25, which was a hectic fight but the party won without getting too messed up by the Orge’s mutagenic breath. After that, they decided to dedicate themselves to who they thought was the god of the dungeon, the Lizard God Kezek. I’m a sucker for religious stuff in roleplay, so I let them have their fun, sacrificing gnomes to the Scaled God, with Kezek bordering on the consciousness of his new followers.

There’s a control room, Room 24, that turns the giant stone statues in The Hall of Kings, Room 22, into solid gold. The shine in my player’s eyes was worth the trapped first lever, as was the disappointment when the statues turned back to stone. I also like how rooms in a dungeon can affect rooms in another part of the dungeon, but I think there have to be more explicit rumors or info about what changed because sometimes you pull a lever and nothing happens and you go “oh, don’t know if that was good”. 

I love the river. Having the ability to traverse into different rooms by throwing your big dumb body into ice-cold, fast running water, I love it. Fishing, clean water, a good place to camp on the shore… Every time I make a dungeon, I have to include a river. Not to mention waterfalls and sumps ensure that as players navigate via a river levels of the dungeon can be locked off and they have to find alternate routes to return to the surface. The river in Hole in the Oak is especially good because it is connected to the Incandescent Grottoes, another dungeon you can run in tandem. I think they’re a little tonally different, but more content is more content. I had two players float down the river at the end of the dungeon and I tried my best to play up the Satania vibes. Lesson: If you haven’t yet, buy Veins of the Earth. You don’t have to use anything, but I can’t think of a product that gets you more in the headspace of darkness and caving more.

That’s pretty much it. I’ve been working on the Masters so I haven’t had the flexibility to get behind the screen as often as I’d like, but I’m still trying to finish my house rules and post a copy of them here. Likewise, I’m working on getting a podcast set up with a gaming buddy of mine and posting it here. All in all, good stuff.

Strong recommend on The Hole in the Oak.

Madonna of the Blogrush

So, I have completed my first semester of graduate school and I just need to make a post. The blog’s not dead, but my spirit is marred by long hours and few games. So here’s a short blogrush: a couple of different small ideas to consider as I begin actually  writing the next article. These are all scraps from attempts to flesh out the next new article so mileage may vary. 

1) So I had a thought: maybe instead of the Long Rim being a long, trackless steppe, maybe it’s actually a great rip in the earth, that the Long Rim is made up of gorges and canyons, karst/standing stone canyons and steephead valleys, with the difficulty in travel being the canyon walls and the various cliffs and pools of water and caves you have to travel through to get to different locations. In this alternate Long Rim, there’s still a straight line of city states, and navigation is still easy since it’s either forward or back and the sun shines directly down, but the complexity in travel stems from what’s on the next leg of the journey and there are always spelunkers looking for the next path forward. I was reading about japanese canyoning, called “sawanobori”, which inspired this idea. I was also inspired by the level design of the garbage game Anthem and the cover of an RPG book that I can’t remember the title of. I think it’s worth consideration, especially as it moves me away from just ripping off UVG.

2) When I get to the end of my day, my go-to meditation game is Death Stranding. The story was okay, given typical Kojima wackiness, but it was the world and the gameplay that really inspired me. The gameplay loop of seeing what packages people left in the shared locker, planning a route to deliver those packages, trying to deliver the furthest package for the most likes… Hell, I don’t even do orders anymore: I deliver other people’s packages to them. I’m the deliverer for deliverers.

As I was delivering these lost packages, however, I was thinking about how to incorporate the things I enjoy about Death Stranding into my OSR games. So much about the game has an OSR feel already: a normal dude, challenges in enemies and environment and geography, different tools that can be used for different approaches to the central problem, and most of all, the point crawl. (I’m of the opinion that one of the best modern OSR movies is Triple Frontier, a movie that revolves around moving mass amounts of treasure in the form of dollar bills out of a dungeon in the form of a drug lord’s mansion. Getting the treasure is one thing, but transporting the treasure over the Andes? That’s where the magic happens.) Death Stranding is a point crawl, less like the massive distances of UVG and more in the vein of Slumbering Ursine Dunes (“Points on the map represent encounter and site areas that are roughly spaced out 150-300 yards from each other.”). 

But before I dive into that, let me just say that in a game where moving items of variable weight and size might be important (maybe the players are all porters and couriers), I believe Knave and other slot based encumbrance systems are probably the best. The ability to say “Okay, there are four eight-slot items that need to be delivered” and allowing the players to decide what’s the best way to transport them (“Players will come up with weird justifications for how they are going to rig up rollers, ropes, and pulleys to drag heavy things long distances. This is good. Encourage them.” [UVG 149]) is interesting to me. Maybe even a Veins of the Earth style encumbrance system, but instead of Charisma only offering an equipment slot more, the more inventory you have the higher your Charisma modifier (“Wow! That’s a lot of cargo!”).

It’d be fun for a one shot or small adventure, but I’d have to clarify the rules a bit.

3) In my house rules, I still use the Splendid (or Sinister, depending on your point of view) Six stats that all retro clones and big game wannabes use: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. However, continuing to dive into other systems, a question gets asked: why six stats? Why not four? I began this massive list writing out all the games and all the attribute names and numbers and comparing them to retroclones, but as interesting as that investigation was, it doesn’t answer the question very well. My system, being an OSR game, must be able to be played across modules and settings. I keep to the Six because it reduces the amount of “deboning” someone would have to do to run a module in the system. If a check calls for Charisma, you don’t have to do any additional work, just call for a Charisma check.

4) There are multiple ways of generating EXP in tabletop games. Most assign monsters EXP that players earn by defeating them. Some assign gold an EXP value, leveling up characters for returning treasure back into the economy. However, the most important way to generate experience for advancement is (in the Long Rim) exploration.

Pointcrawl. Three points to a region. There are tables for regional events and encounters, like UVG. The three points represent locations on the usual caravaneers path. It’s dangerous, but less so than just cutting through the wild. There might be roads, and road wardens, and tolls, and all that nasty civilization. These points are outposts, boomtowns, maybe a grand oasis city. The dungeons and other sights are left for the players to explore, to mark on the map. Finding those points earns experience.

Luke Crane wrote a game called Miseries and Misfortunes. To advance in level, there is a list of things you have to do, depending on the Mentality. Because it’s Luke Crane, it’s basically just a lifepath from Burning Wheel which is in turn an improvement on the career skills from that warrior goddess Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay 1st Edition. For example, if you’re an Explorer, to level up your Explorer Lifepath, you must “journey to a new place outside your home country”, or “learn a new language”. Do those things, and you level up.

Likewise, in the game Carcosa, finding particular hexes with cool things in them, such as the titular City of Carcosa, earns EXP. More EXP is earned from partaking in certain actions within the hex. If you find the City, you get EXP. If you spend a single night in the city (and all the bad stuff fires off), you get more EXP. I will admit I couldn’t find exactly where it says that in the Carcosa rules, though (I feel like I am stealing this from somewhere). 

Leveling up here is the same. Each point has a list of things you can do, each ramping in difficulty. Let’s say there’s a region called Great Lake. There would be a list of tasks you can perform to earn EXP to level up. An example of a simple task would be fishing in the lake, for something like 1 EXP. An example of a difficult task awarding lots of EXP would be like a high level Pathfinder encounter, or something with lots of steps, like “walk along the bottom of Great Lake in a diving suit and don’t get eaten by the giant anglerfish that lives down there”.

How do characters find out about EXP opportunities without just getting the table with the list? Quest givers, rumors, and travelogues.

A quest giver is just a dude who wants to hire the party to go do a thing. The task is probably one that awards a decent amount of EXP. You might be mistaken into thinking that this is quest or milestone EXP, that by doing the thing asked you get the reward, which is EXP. This is incorrect: the task doesn’t care, it’s binary, it’s either completed or not completed. Whatever circumstance arises that allows the player to complete it, it either is finished or not. It’s kind of like the separation of money and karma(?) in Shadowrun: you can take the high paying job from the corpo-terrorist that earns less karma to level your character with, or you can help the little old lady at the soup kitchen for beaucoup karma. It also speaks to the multiple advancement opportunities Shadowrun characters have. Regardless, even if the party decides to stab the quest giver in the back or ignore them, the task still exists for EXP. 

A rumor is just that, a rumor on a table that players can get by spending treasure. Fill in your favorite carcousing or rumor rules and run wild.

A travelogue should be like the Field Guide to Hot Springs Island: carve out some time to write some fiction for your table. Take you DMing to the next level and really create something for your players. Be somebody.

At first, I wanted to use Dungeon Crawl Classics for the advancement criteria of my house rules, maybe a little less harsh, with level 10 being something like 500 EXP total. But then I remembered I’m moving to a more level-less system: instead of each level being harder, at 20 EXP, all players have a chance to update their stats, and my extension their Might.

There’s a secondary to this: time and the seasonal EXP requirement. If you gain experience by fishing in Great Lake, if you get there in winter and the Lake’s frozen over, you lose the opportunity to earn that experience until the spring. Time is a modifier on travel and experience: travel is easier and hard during some seasons, and tasks are open and closed depending on the season

5) On one side of the scale is Into the Odd, a game where death is almost instantaneous with combat, where the usual second or third roll of combat is figuring out if you are dead or unconscious. On the other side is D&D 5E, a game where death is exceedingly rare and is normally the result of a player not being aware of the massive amount of tools available to them not to die (healing spells, resting and hit dice, death saving throws). I want this to be a game that sits in the middle: on the one hand, I as the DM should not need to be terrified of dishing out damage for fear that a wayward strike will kill a character outright. The system is designed that no character insta-dies, but each turn of combat is important (a couple of hits wipes out your defenses, a couple more cut into your attributes, maybe one or two land on your Soul). On the other hand, a character is not a superhero who can tank all damage without fear or consequence. As wounds mount up, you become less and less effective (without healing), until you start taking damage that will stay with you forever.

The goal of this is simple. I want the players to care about characters, and a character that is cordwood doesn’t get a lot of love. On the other hand, I don’t want the character to be bulletproof: going into dungeons to seek out treasure should be neither safe nor routine. I want the opposite response to a 0 level funnel: you care about your character not because they survived when four schmucks didn’t, but because the character sheet shows you all the experiences you’ve had. Remember when you got that stutter fighting that monster?

6) Man, what is up about looking at black and white squared maps of dungeons that transfigures elements in your mind to that place of zen and tranquility, of seeing and imagining and being on the cusp of experiencing something new?

7) The story does not appear at any point in the game designer’s rules, the DM’s planning, or the player’s backstory. The story appears at the table. The story does not trump the rules. The situation does.

I’m toying with the idea to try something new. I’m going to record myself reading a book, and then record myself talking about the book. I’m going to upload that here. They’re not going to be RPG books for the most part, just books I want (or need) to read. Looking forward to having something to show.

Megadungeon Mayhem: Room Design

Welp. 

The last month has been a ride. Carving out some time to post something I’ve been thinking about lately: megadungeon generation. Before I can talk about that, though, I have to talk about resource management in city crawls. 

My dream game is not a city crawl, obviously. It’s a caravan crawl, with wide-open spaces and massive mountains and dying of thirst because you didn’t bring enough supplies. In fact, in my ideal game the City is the enemy, the thing that demands control over the characters and wants to grind them to dust; the Long Rim is merciful because the Long Rim doesn’t care. However, the following was something I originally pitched to WrongRoom, simply because the city crawl is their ideal game, finding treasure in a living, breathing city. 

In a city crawl, there are three abstractions in location: the city block, the city building, and combat. The city block is the neighborhood level. There are buildings and inside these buildings are people and events and treasures. While the blocks are part of and can affect the larger city, events are mostly confined to the districts they occur in. Think a Chinatown or a Little Italy. Likewise, there are three abstractions in time: city travel turns (traveling between city blocks), building travel turns (searching, room by room, a specific building), and combat turns. With each tick of the city travel turn, events occur in the neighborhood you’re exploring, becoming more dangerous the longer you’re there. Think Blades in the Dark circles, or some kind of “heat” system. These time units should be transferable in base six, basically: 

1 city travel turn = 6 building travel turns = 36 combat turns

1 nightshift = 12 city travel turns = 72 building travel turns = 432 combat turns

A city travel turn is about an hour, give or take how easy or hard it is to travel to the next block (think about the rules of movement in Into the Odd/Electric Bastionlands). A building travel turn is about ten minutes, give or take how easy it is to perform actions in the room. A combat turn is however long it takes, sometimes seconds of dodging out of the way, sometimes minutes of a prolonged gunfight (I mean, in old school AD&D, the expectation was that each round of combat was dozens of attacks and blocks, all resolving into a net gain or loss. Combat that seeks to play out every hit begins to get repetitive. Likewise, if you were in a session of 36 combat turns, it would feel like hours). Honestly, the time doesn’t matter. What matters here is that we have the mechanic and the abstraction.

Allow players to game the mechanic, and use the abstraction to smooth the narrative.

The city travel turn is important because it activates the time progression mechanics. The building travel turns are important because that’s the way you find treasure and interact with the city. The combat turns are important because that’s when the player’s got the most to lose

I spend this time laying out how it would work so I can overlay it onto the caravan crawl. Instead of city travel turns, they’re simply travel turns. Instead of building travel turns, they’re dungeon turns. Instead of an hour, a travel turn is something longer. I want to say a week to fit it into UVG’s scale, but I’m not sure. Forbidden Lands handles the “turns as resource” thing a little better, being a hex crawl with each day broken up into different quarters with different actions to take per quarter. Perhaps a travel turn is closer to 6 hours? With the need for food every 4 turns? Still working it out. 

Okay, so, this is all well and good, and the explanation of the city turn system can be modified to a caravan crawl situation where the city travel turn is modified to the travel turn and the building travel turn becomes the dungeon turn, but where are you going with this? 

Because when there’s a clear distinction in turn resources, you can use this to write dungeon rooms in the particular style they would be used at the table. 

I had the opportunity to run a one-shot of the excellent Mothership module Gradient Descent for a group of friends a couple of months ago. The book layout is a work of art: all usable at the table, mini-maps of the dungeon on every page, room names that correspond to page numbers… It’s awesome, and I recommend picking up a copy when you get the chance, even if you’ve never played Mothership. This contrasts greatly with the way a lot of modules, even old school modules, are written. The expectation is that the module will be “deboned” by a DM before it is brought to the table, something that shouldn’t be expected if the DM is already paying for a product. On top of the way Gradient Descent does rooms, think about how UVG does creatures: inline, with the kind of creature, level, and attribute: Antelopes (L1, fast), like its calls for skill checks. 

So what does this look like in practice? 

[A1] Room Title
Single line describing room (Italics means read me out loud!)
  • Thing in the room (Try to include three elements per room to interact with)
    • Description of the thing in more detail if investigated.
      • Description of the description, no more than three bullets down
  • Thing in the room
    • Dangerous things, traps, or ambushes highlighted in red.
    • Monster (Level, Attribute), what they’re doing and what they want.
  • Thing in the room
    • Secret exits (for example, to [A2] Room 2 Title) in description.
    • Can also be notated as [A2].
Single line for the obvious exits.

Try to aim for 100 words for a simple room, 200 words for a complex one. Let’s say you write a five-room dungeon: 200 words a room, 1000 words a dungeon. That seems manageable. Here’s an example of the format in progress: 

[A1] Example Chapel
A small chapel in utter disrepair, dust, and trash litters the floor.
  • Three rows of small pews point toward…
    • A small unholy icon of Orcus can be found.
  • …a small altar, symbols of the Shining One desecrated by unholy graffiti.
    • Anyone looting the altar will find 1d10 gold and a Routine (12) Dexterity poisoned arrow trap for their trouble.
  • Behind the altar, a wicked statue has been erected.
    • Moving the statue reveals an entrance to [A2] Example Secret Passage.
There is an arched doorway to the south.

Because of this, and a potentially fleshed out turn system, now you can imagine what play should look like: 

DM: “You enter a small chapel in utter disrepair. Dust and trash litter the floor. Three rows of small pews point toward a small altar, symbols of the Shining One desecrated by unholy graffiti. Behind the altar, a wicked statue has been erected. There is an arched doorway to the south (the way you came in). What do you do? ” 

Player X: “I examine the pews.” 
The DM describes the pews in more detail, including the small unholy icon. This may lead to time being spent on examining the pews and the icon, costing more turns, costing more resources such as light and food. Adds a Dungeon Turn. 

Player Y: “I begin barring the southern door we came in.”
The DM investigates how they would perform the action. May lead the Player to interact with something not specifically declared (old wood and rusted nails to barricade the door with, perhaps). May require a mechanical roll to affect the narrative (“Roll a Difficult (16) Luck check to find rusty nails.”). Adds a Dungeon Turn. 

Player Z: “I’m staying the hell away from that statue.”
No interaction with the elements in the room. A declared instinct, an action that occurs if something comes to pass. May even include a mechanical advantage if the statue turns out to be alive and attacks. Doesn’t add a Dungeon Turn. 

At 6 dungeon turns, a travel turn ticks, and people need food/water/light/oxygen. 

You could also use this to reformat existing dungeons. Take this 139-word example from Anomalous Subsurface Environment: 

19. God’s Eye
This room is bare, with the exception of a functional God’s Eye in the middle of the western wall.

This God’s Eye is a large black metal circle, 10’ in diameter, with an intact imaging screen. When the players first enter the room, the God’s Eye will be filled with the image of a giant, slit pupiled eye, moving about and watching the party. The pupil is black, and the iris is a deep purple.

Anyone touching the God’s Eye must save vs. magic or be forced to attack the party for 1d3 rounds.

On subsequent visits to this room, the God’s Eye will only show the slit pupiled eye on a roll of 12 on a 2d6. There is no ill effect from touching the God’s Eye while the slit pupiled eye is not present.”

– ASE1 Anomalous Subsurface Environment (57)

After breaking it down to its base elements, it probably looks like this..

[A19] God’s Eye
An empty room, save for a large, black, metal circle on the west wall.
  • The circle appears to have the image of a giant, black pupiled, purple eye watching you on it.
    • Touching the screen with the eye displayed requires a Routine (12) Aura check or be forced to attack allies for 1d4 rounds.
    • On subsequent visits the eye will only appear on screen 1 in 6 times.
There are exits to the east and west.

Cut down to 85 words. 

Something else I realized while writing this article is the use of Torchbearer’s character needs. The needs feed into the tick-based turn economy well. 

Something that I think UVG doesn’t do very well is making each point feel more like an area or region, something I struggled with as I ran it. Each region is a point, however, the region actually expands out from the point pretty far. The Porcelain Citadel is a city, but Potsherd Crater is a giant crater that takes weeks to get to the bottom of or around, and really, it’s the grasslands that surround the Porcelain Citadel you should be narrating to your players the most.